My Life 6 4 2017

A Story, An Autumn Beginning

It was a beautiful autumn day. The leaves were beginning to turn colors, the sky was a clear majestic blue, there was a slight crisp in the air and you could tell that the earth was preparing for a long winters nap. Mother nature was beginning to slow down, but yet still had one or two more turns around the dance floor before her winter slumber. A young man pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, positioned  his car and stepped out. Looking up to the sky the autumn sun warmed his face and for a mere moment everything seemed OK. Walking towards the entrance of the building his heart began to sink.  It was as if with each step his heart hung lower and lower. Halfway to the door his hands begin to twitch a little.  To disguise this nervousness he began rubbing his face as if he was questioning himself if he had shaved that day. Approaching the cement steps that lead to the door his heart began to pound harder and harder. As he placed his left foot on the first step his stomach began to churn. With his right foot on the second step his eyes began to look around as if he was looking for escape. With his left foot on the landing he wanted to run. He wanted to run through that door up the stairs and quickly into his apartment. Feeling of a heavy weight came over his entire body.  It was as almost as if it felt like he was going to be sucked up by the earth from the weight that he felt. Opening the door he walked inside and stared at his mailbox. Dare he touch it, dare he look? So nervous and anxious he just wanted the whole world to melt away. Fumbling with his keys he finally open the mailbox. It was crammed full, as if it could not except another piece of mail. Refusing to look at any of the labels he merely wadded up all the mail in his two hands and proceeded to his door. He unlocked the door, went inside and threw all the mail on the table immediately to the right of the entrance of his apartment. He did not turn around.  He refused to look at it. He had done his part for the day. He went over to his couch, sat down and turned on the television slowly his body began to calm. 

It was Monday, the only day he would allow himself to retrieve his mail. Opening the mailbox and seeing what was inside was just too stressful for him to do it every single day. The young man got up and got something to eat and after having a bit of lunch gathered together his courage. Pausing for a moment he thought about what he might incur and then started flipping through the mail. At first it seemed like it was going to be a pretty good day most of the mail was just junk, but then he began to see what was in store, first 1, 2, then 3, 4 notices from the bank. His heart sunk, he began to sweat, his legs got weak and he felt like he might fall to the floor. He didn't need to open all of them he just opened the last one. His eyes opened wide as he saw the amount of money he owed. As of late, life seemed long and hard and with no hope. Friday would be payday and at least he would make enough money to cover the debt. He might even have enough left over to cover the alcohol and cigarettes he would need to make it through the weekend. Emotionally he felt as if he had just run a marathon. Exhausted he walked over to his couch and laid down and fell asleep. 

Things had been this way for most of the last year. It was a long time in the making, the young man's life had been slowly disintegrating. There were many an evening where he would spend moments thinking about where he would end up, but as soon as the fear overcame him he would look for a distraction rather than face the cold hard truth. Most nights he would come home from work to empty home void of love. He would drink alcohol until he was too tired to watch any more television and sleep on his couch till it was time to goto work again. Night after night the screen flashed empty stories of pretend characters that the young man longed for. He longed for a life that was full of love and hope. He would stare vacantly at the screen while his thoughts ran wild in his mind, though once he started to think about how to put thoughts into action he was clueless. He felt stuck and helpless. There was no way that he could ever crawl out alive from his current life situation alone. His dreams would nosedive as his hopes plummeted, and again his drink would rise to his lips.

Laying there with his eyes wide open his alarm would beep. For a moment he hoped that work would call and tell him some story of why he didn't have to come in, but it didn't. Rising up he pulled himself together. As he walked out of his apartment he glanced down at the mail he had opened earlier. It was over for now, it was time for him to head back out into the real world. The door shut like a prison door behind him. The room sat still as if it were frozen in time. The sunlight slowly passed the blinds in front of the window till it was no longer existent. A few hours after sunset the doorknob began to giggle. The knob slowly turned and the young man entered the apartment again. Shuffling like a zombie, he walked into the bedroom, he disrobed and put on some more comfortable clothing. Back to the kitchen area the young man grabbed a beer out of the fridge, pausing for a moment he then grabbed two. The first drink always went down so fast. Back on his couch he fired up the television, opened his beer and lit a cigarette. 

He tried to watch TV but the show was just too happy. It reminded him of how utterly lost he was. As he held his forehead he began rewinding the last few years. He was searching his past. He was trying to remember the last time that he was truly happy. Halfway through a drag on his cigarette it dawned on him. He stopped inhaling and the smoke began to roll out of his mouth and across his face. Whether it was the memory or the smoke, his eyes began to well up. Tears began to roll down his face until they reached the middle of his chin. There they dripped and began to wet the carpet below. Putting out his cigarette he then rubbed his eyes, bloodshot he couldn't stop crying. His thoughts had drifted all the way back to high school. He remembered a time when he felt optimistic and free. Most importantly though he remembered how he had felt so peaceful. What was so different? What was so different about his life back then compared to now? He didn't have a great job. He didn't have a lot of friends. His family was the same then as it was now. 

Then it dawned on him, and his head sunk even lower.

The difference was that in his youth he believed in and followed more than himself. His life was not about chasing momentary pleasures as it did now. When he was younger he had faith. He believed in God. His life was about more than just himself. He was dedicated to a life of loving, not just God, but everyone he met. In contrast his now was all about himself. It was about feeding each and every desire that he had. He used anyone he could to get what he wanted. Sure there were people that he cared about, but he cared about himself most of all. He was wrong. Deep down he knew that he was wrong and that was why he was so cold and alone. The more he tried to fill himself with pleasure the more empty he felt. The young man wanted more. He wanted to feel free. He wanted to feel loved, more importantly he wanted to love. He knew what he had to do, but he was scared. 

"No", he thought, "It's too impossible. I have done too much. I have sinned too much. There is no way I could turn around now. God would never take me back."

He thought again about those beautiful teen years. Life wasn't perfect but it was filled with so much hope and love. As he opened his eyes he looked around. The life he was a part of now was too intimidating, it was too big of a mess. There was no way he could turn that all back around. Who was he after all? Feeling defeated a whisper flickered in the back of his conscience, so small but so clear. 

"I can help you", it whispered. 
Initial hope was quickly drowned out by male pride, "I don't need any help", he thought, "I got myself into this mess I can get myself out."

"I love you", the voice whispered.

The man's eyes welled up again. He gave up on trying to hold back the tears. The words were those that he had longed for some time to hear. Sobbing he put his face in his hands. 

"I'm so sorry", the young man could barely get the words out. Instantly all the wrongs he had committed over the past years came rushing in. Was it possible? Could he be forgiven? Could he try and start over again? 

"I'm waiting to help you if you want, but you have to let me in" the voice whispered.

Sobbing the man stated out loud, "I'm sorry. I just so sorry. I don't care. I can't do this anymore. Please, please I beg of you God forgive me. Please take all this away. I am so sorry. I will try, I promise. Please make me whole. Make me better. Fix me, I am so broken. Please be my God. I am just so sorry. Please teach me to be better. I am anything but perfect. I know I have made a million mistakes and will make a million more but I can't do this on my own anymore. Please come into my life. I take you as my savior." 

The man could barely pronounce all the words he was sobbing so hard. Feeling emotionally spent he just sat there in a hovel on his couch.

"It's okay, you need to rest now", the voice whispered.

The man turned off the television, laid down and went to sleep. He didn't know where he was going or where he would end up, but for the first time in a long time he wasn't scared because he knew he wasn't alone. 

Are You Searching For Lazy Summer Days?

Summer is in full swing, and this summer is a little different. Through chance and circumstance I have been essentially grounded. I hurt my hand a couple weeks ago and I've been stuck at home waiting for my hand to heal before I can go back to work. It's been a challenge to say the least, but it's also been interesting because I've been able to view my teenage son's summer as he transitions from junior high to high school. He's at that stage where he wants to play all day long like a little boy but he wants the privileges of an adult. I remember this time of my life it was it was a challenge. So I go through each day and I ask God for lots of patience, so that I can teach him how to be the wonderful man I know he can become. When I was about his age there was a band that was kind of popular. I'm not really going to recommend that anyone listen to their album because it's not very Christian. The band was called House of Pain, they were a rap group. There was an opening line off their record Shamrocks and Shenanigans that for some reason is stuck in my mind this morning.

"The time has come for everyone to start picking up what's in their own backyard instead of looking at their neighbors yard."

I remember when I was a teenager  that line just seem so poignant. I just wanted to tell everyone to get out of my face because they had no idea what I was going through or what I was trying to do.  That line off the record and reminds me of some of the things that Jesus said. Jesus came to teach us to love it's as simple as that, and through the act of love, Jesus wanted us to try and suspend our judgment of others. When you judge someone you not loving them. When you judge someone, especially in the open, it puts tension between you and whoever you're judging. Now say you see someone and they're headed down the wrong path, God does not want you to just stand idly by. Jesus taught that we should go confront that person but that it should be out of love and it should be done with compassion. In his time here on earth Jesus met with a wide variety of people. Reading the Gospels one thing that you will see very noticeable is that Jesus spends a lot of time with sinners, however he would reach out to those in pain, whether it was physical, emotional or mental, he would cure them and encourage them to sin no more. To the average ordinary sinner he would show compassion and that's what he wants us to do. The only people that Jesus ever really chastised for their transgressions were the Sadducees and Pharisees.  These were powerful people that would impose strong laws on their people, and then act as if they themselves were sinless. They would chastise those who were sinners. They would show no compassion. Essentially the Pharisees and Sadducees acted as hypocrites and Jesus called them out as such. 

You are not perfect, I am not perfect, there is no one on this planet that is perfect. We are all sinners. I am sure there are those out there who will think that since we are all sinners it's pointless to try and get to heaven or to try and follow God's word. Keep this in mind, no matter how old you are on this planet, you are still merely a child. You could be 90 years old, but put that against eternity and you are merely a child. In all reality we have a very short time on this earth so it's important to choose our path wisely. God knows that you are broken and that you are a sinner, but you're his child and he loves you. God wants to help you to grow and to be wise. God knows all of your talents and your abilities because he gave them to you. God loves you and he simply wants you to become the best you possibly can be. He loves you so much he gave you the greatest gift of all.

God gave you free will.

You get to choose. You can choose to follow God's will, listen to Jesus is good word and allow the Holy Spirit to into your life, and go to Heaven or you can turn your back on all of that. You can choose to follow your will. You can choose to live a life of sin. You can choose that sin will be your master and through which you will become a slave to it, chasing pleasure after pleasure.  God will always love you but don't expect him to magically create a stress-free existence for you if you choose to not follow him. In a way a relationship with God is like a relationship with anyone else. 

Close your eyes and think of your best friend. Think about the fun times you spend with each other. Think about your common interests. Now imagine your best friend stops spending time with you. How would you react? You call them time and time again to spend time with you but they always say, "no". How would you feel? On top of that, every time that your best friend does call they are always wanting you to help them get out of a jam. They call when they need help moving. They call when they need to borrow money. They call when they need you to bail him out of jail. They call when they want you to be a babysitter. Would that person still be your best friend? 

How long would it take for you to start saying, "no"?

God is much the same. He wants to spend time with you. He loves you, but if you treat him like a servant instead of a friend don't be surprised when he stops answering your calls. There is a reoccurring cycle in the Old Testament. The Jews, God's chosen people, would prosper and do well when they heeded the Commandments of God. Problem was, that after several years of prosperity, the Jews would take God for granted. They would fall away from his commandments they would start worshiping other gods even. God sent prophets to warn them hoping that they would get back on track and once again create a strong relationship with him.  Unfortunately they would not and because they chose to walk away from him, because they exercised their free will, God let them have what they wanted. All would be well for a short period of time but then they would become invaded. Because the Jews chose to turn their back on God, they no longer had Gods protection. They would be conquered by rival nations and put into slavery. The Jews would realize they're folly and they would cry out to God and ask for forgiveness. God would return, help them, unfortunately though the cycle would start over. 

God loves you and he can help you to do amazing things. If you choose to follow God's way you will have peace serenity even in your most turbulent times, but you have to choose to follow God's will. You have to walk through your life with love and compassion. You have to be willing to hold your judgment of others. If you love God with all your mind body and soul. He will be your God and he will help you with anything that you desire. 

2 KGS 17:5-8, 13-15A, 18

Shalmaneser, king of Assyria, occupied the whole land
and attacked Samaria, which he besieged for three years.
In the ninth year of Hoshea, king of Israel
the king of Assyria took Samaria,
and deported the children of Israel to Assyria,
setting them in Halah, at the Habor, a river of Gozan,
and the cities of the Medes.

This came about because the children of Israel sinned against the LORD,
their God, who had brought them up from the land of Egypt,
from under the domination of Pharaoh, king of Egypt,
and because they venerated other gods.
They followed the rites of the nations
whom the LORD had cleared out of the way of the children of Israel
and the kings of Israel whom they set up.

So summer break is here, and it's time to grow up. Will you choose to be ever a child and just seek momentary pleasures and enjoy a lazy summer days, or will you choose to be an adult? Will ou take on responsibilities and freedom and happiness and pleasure in heaven

And though the LORD warned Israel and Judah
by every prophet and seer,
“Give up your evil ways and keep my commandments and statutes,
in accordance with the entire law which I enjoined on your fathers
and which I sent you by my servants the prophets,”
they did not listen, but were as stiff-necked as their fathers,
who had not believed in the LORD, their God.
They rejected his statutes,
the covenant which he had made with their fathers,
and the warnings which he had given them, till,
in his great anger against Israel,
the LORD put them away out of his sight.
Only the tribe of Judah was left.

MT 7:1-5

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Stop judging, that you may not be judged.
For as you judge, so will you be judged,
and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.
Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye,
but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother,
‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’
while the wooden beam is in your eye?
You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first;
then you will see clearly
to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.”

Orlando Tragedy: How Will You Use Your Free Will?

To watch this video click: HERE

I would like to thank CNN for this report. 

After the shooting I have gotten online and I've seen a lot of anger and frustration going back-and-forth. It all seems to deal with whether or not we should ban guns, impose new gun control, how we should treat the LGTB community, how we should treat Muslims and how we should react to radical Muslim terrorists. It seems as though in someway the victims of this attack have been overlooked.

I would highly recommend watching this video. It's easy to press play and then immediately want to turn away and shuffle papers or whatever, but I would recommend pressing play and watching the screen and listening to each word.

I don't care if you don't agree with the lifestyles of these victims. These were real people with hearts and souls and dreams. These individuals struck down far too early in life are children of God. I have prayed and will continue to pray for their souls & for their families, friends and love ones. I know that there are many who are thinking how God could let such horrible things happen in this world. Fact is God gives us free will. One troubled young soul chose to use that free will to kill and hurt others. 

And so now we get to exercise our free will. How we each react is up to each of us. Will we react & choose to try and put love into this world or will we just merely argue? 

I know we all have deep passionate feelings on a variety of issues. But I stress that we all come together and discuss things and compassion. Anger will not prevent this from happening again. Love, compassion, mercy & understanding prevent this from happening again. I've never seen hate and rage solve a problem. 

I know this seems like a hippie pie-in-the-sky kind of response, but you can talk about gun control in a compassionate way. You can talk about terrorism prevention in a compassionate way. You can talk about immigration in a compassionate way. It is possible to disagree and have a conversation in a compassionate way. 

So let's not spend anymore time on this disturbed soul who chose to kill others. Let us honor beautiful lives that were taken down prematurely. This video highlights those people and I would highly recommend watching and praying for them. 

Let us come together as a country. Let us unify and realize that each one of us is a beautiful human being that deserves to be respected and protected. Let us come together in a compassionate way and work together to try and prevent a horrible event like this from ever happening again. 

Have a blessed day, an awesome week and a God filled life.

What's Under the Wrapping Paper?

To be hated or disliked is hurtful thing. What hurts even worse though is when you know someone hates you or dislikes you, yet they put on a front that they absolutely love you. It's kind of like being five years old and coming downstairs Christmas morning to see presents beautifully wrapped with the most magnificent wrapping paper you've ever seen, only to find after you eagerly open them that they're merely boxes full of rotten trash. No doubt we don't want to be loved, but we all want to be loved truly. We want to honestly be loved. God is no different, if you show up Sunday morning and your tithing into the collection plate, but in the back of your mind you are despising the fact that you're giving money to God your gift means nothing. 

Know this, God can see into your heart always. Does God want you to help the poor? Yes, but he also wants you to do it with a loving heart. At the end of the day God wants you to love, and he wants you to give out of your love. It's really that simple. I remember reading the Old Testament and the story of Cain and Abel. Able would pick the best youngling from his flock, and sacrifice it to God full of love and thankful for all God provided. Cain on the other hand, he sacrificed from his field. He gave burnt offerings to God but he did so with anger in his heart. He despised God and didn't understand why he should have to give from his hard work. He saw burning his best crops a waste. 

You are a child of God, and on top of that God wants to be your best friend. Now I know many of us do not live a perfect life, or at least we think that our life is not perfect. For me I am a simple humble man. I am a sinner. I admit it freely. I am not perfect by any means. I am not someone to look up to. If you want to look up to somebody look to Jesus Christ. There many times I have held back from God and I am ashamed of that. I have so much. I have air in my lungs, vision in my eyes, sound in my ears, a heart beating in my chest. I have a beautiful talented wife that cares for me. I have wonderful children who teach me how awesome this life is each passing week. Do I want more? Yes, we all want more, but for what? I try very hard anymore when I find myself wanting really nice things, maybe a new car, a vacation and better house or whatever, I try to pause now and look at what I do actually have. When I examine myself what I have, what I can do, where I live, I am humbled. I am grateful to God for all that he has blessed me with. I find the more I open myself up to God, the more I realize how much I have, the more that I receive. The big secret that's really not a secret is that God doesn't really hold much back from you. Often times when we don't have the things that we want, not the things we need but the things that we want it, is because we are holding ourselves back not God. 

God is waiting for you every moment of every single day. God is waiting to spend time with you right now. Why, because he loves you, because he created you out of love. It took me a bit to swallow this, but I don't need to be here. God allowed me to be here. He created me because he loves. This idea only came clear to me after I've had a few of my own children. I've had people ask me before why I have children. Really, the only explanation that I can give that kind of makes sense is that I love my wife so much, and she loves me so much that we couldn't contain our love anymore inside ourselves. 

Yeah they're trying times being a parent. Sometimes you wonder if you know what you're doing. You wonder if you're good enough to be a parent. You worry till the end of time as to whether your child is going to be OK. However when I actually sit down and think about my children, my heart swells with love, pride and appreciation. I think about how I love each and everyone of them so very much, and how I can't imagine living without them.  I am so proud, not in a prideful way, but I am proud of who they are, sometimes because of my tutelage but many times in spite of my tutelage. I can't help but thinking God feels the same way. I am sure there are many times he looks down on me and the things that I do and merely shakes his head and plants his face into his palm wondering what I was thinking, but he knows. I wouldn't be surprised if sometimes he worries, though being God he knows all and sees all. Most of all though I can't help but think that he just loves. 

God gives so much, everything in life is a gift really. When I look at a beautiful sunset I see love. When I see flowers blooming in the spring, he made that picturesque moment out of love. In the winter when snowflakes fall like feathers from the heavens, and it's cold outside and you just want to huddle together and stay warm I see love. When I see how each of us are flawed I see love, because if we were all perfect we wouldn't need each other. If we didn't need each other we wouldn't have the opportunity to experience passion and love. We wouldn't have the opportunity to experience community. We wouldn't need community. We would be individual self-sustaining units that would be cold and compassionless like machinery. I truly believe that God made us imperfect so that we would have to rely on one another and through that we could learn to love.

As we all know love does not work in a vacuum. I know anytime that I've been in a relationship where I loved deeply and it wasn't reciprocated I felt empty and worthless. God loves you and he want you to love him back. But like any other great relationship, he doesn't force you to love him. He gives you free will, and lets you choose, because he wants to know you're choosing to love him rather than just loving him because you have to. 

God wants a pure loving relationship with you.

You can do whatever you want but I would highly recommend spending some hang time with God. I know this world is busy and fast. We live in a culture here in America where we've come to expect instant gratification for everything. Having a relationship with God is rather countercultural. God doesn't provide instant gratification. God likes to savor things, he likes to take his time. Just as you are not a creature that can be summed up in 30 seconds neither can God. God is infinite, so you can't expect to build a great relationship with him and truly understand him and little 30 second soundbites. 

By no means though should you feel obligated to sell all your possessions donate all the money to the poor move out into the wilderness and live as a hermit praying to God nonstop and studying God nonstop.  I mean if you wanted to and you feel God is calling you to do so go for it, you'll never have a more exciting life van doing what you're truly called to do. But for many of us God merely want to spend time with you because he loves you.  God realizes that for most of us living the life of a hermit is not what's best for us. God does want to talk to you every day though, that's why he wants us to pray to him every day. He wants to hear about the good, the bad and the ugly.  God wants to hear about your hopes and dreams. He wants to hear your joys and your sorrows. He wants to hear your thankfulness and your desires. 

Got realizes that this is a twisty turvy world. He knows how easily we can become misguided on our journey to heaven. That's why God sent Jesus his son to come and teach us personally. There were many, in the time that Jesus was on this planet, that were worshiping and loving the wrong way. Jesus came to teach us to not love and worship like that, but to also try and refocus those who had lost their way. Why, because God loves you that much he sent his only son and then did nothing when we tortured and killed his son. The day Jesus was crucified no one was killed by God. God did not command the earth to open up and swallow all the disrespecting, unbelieving people who tortured and crucified Jesus Christ. Jesus himself on the cross spoke to God and said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."

That is perfect love.

So God is waiting. Right now God is waiting to talk to you. It's your choice you can do whatever you want. I will tell you this though, that talking to God is kind of like working out. It's one of those things that we usually say, "yes I'm out of shape I know I need to work out but I'm really busy today and I'll try that tomorrow." Problem is, tomorrow something comes up as well and so we don't do it tomorrow or the day after or the next week or the next month or the next year, and then we find ourselves sitting in the doctors office being prescribed 10 tons of medication because we've refused to take care of our body all our years. Instead of living life to the fullest we walk around hooked up to oxygen masks or hobbling because were overweight or in a wheelchair because refused to take care this precious gift of a body that we've been given. 

Same thing goes with prayer and going to church and studying the Bible. We tell ourselves, "yeah that's really important and what Jesus did for me is really cool, but I'm busy today I'll pray tomorrow. I'll go to church next Sunday. I'll catch that next Bible study when it starts." The days turn into weeks, which turned into years, and then one day we die or we are on deaths door step. 

Do you really want to leave where you're spending it turn it he up to chance?

God has given you so much. Jesus Christ sacrificed so much. The Holy Spirit is waiting to help you every single day. There is so much love God has wrapped up for you, but you have to open the present, and then he wants to receive love from you. He is waiting to have a long loving relationship with you because you are one of his beautiful children. I encourage you start or renew your relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit today. Hang out with God, spend time with him. Go to church. Give back love with all your heart. Hold nothing back from God. Trust me, you have no idea how much peace, serenity and happiness are waiting for you when you build a dynamic relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

So it's time now, walk down the stairs turn the corner and see the beautiful Christmas tree. The presents are wrapped gorgeously around it. Those are all presents of love waiting for you sit down, grab and open. The best is waiting to come.

MT 5:20-26

Jesus said to his disciples: 
“I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that
of the scribes and Pharisees,
you will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven.

“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors,
You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother
will be liable to judgment,
and whoever says to his brother,
‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin,
and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar,
and there recall that your brother
has anything against you,
leave your gift there at the altar,
go first and be reconciled with your brother,
and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him.
Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge,
and the judge will hand you over to the guard,
and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you,
you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.”

Do You Love Like a Good Cheeseburger?

I can't help it I love a good cheeseburger. I've tried cheeseburgers from a wide variety of places, and if I find a good one I do like to go and revisit because I love cheeseburgers that much. Because I love cheeseburgers so much, I have tried to find a great cheeseburger, or at least a very good one at a chain restaurant. That way no matter where I go in my limited travels I can experience the bliss of a really good cheeseburger. 

As people, we love things that we know, things that we know are pleasing. Relationships I find thrive when things are consistent and true. My wife loves me in a certain way. She cares for my children in a certain way, she cooks in a certain, way she keeps house in a certain way, she's very consistent and that's satisfying and builds a sense of security. In the same way I love my wife. I love her through my actions and I am very consistent in how I do so. When either herself or I realize that something needs to change we talk about it so said change doesn't come out of the blue. This way our family and our relationship can grow and mature, not stagnate, and we still maintain that consistency which a great relationship is built upon. That's the thing I like most about my God and my Church they are consistent.

God knows more than anyone else, that people do not like to get jerked around. Because he made us and because he loves us, God remains consistent day in day out, month in and month out, year after year. God even formed covenants in the Old Testament with his people," You love me and let me be your God I will love and protect you." Time and time again in the Old Testament when you see the Israelites betray their covenant with God, enemies would invade and conquer them. The Israelites would then repent and God would come to their aid. God's rules are simple it's all about love. I have talked with many that don't see that. 

God wants to be your only God. He loves you and wants to have a relationship with just you. Imagine telling your wife or husband, "hey yes I love you but I want to bring in somebody else."

God does not want you to use his name in vain. I can only imagine the strain my relationship would have if I walked around the house in anger cursing things in my wife's name, trust me it wouldn't go over well.

Your God who created you, made you what you are, gave you all your talents, gave you all the blessings, all the good things that you have in your life, wants to spend one special day week with you at least. I can tell you that if I don't spend some quality time with my wife each week our relationship doesn't work that well.

I could go on, but basically all of the 10 Commandments are there to build a loving relationship with God and with everyone you will meet on this earth. God is about love. God knows that love is the most important thing. He wants us to focus our lives in a loving manner. After the 10 Commandments were established, the Jewish people wrote even more "laws". In their zeal to serve God correctly they made things too complicated (as often men do). So to try and reset his relationship with the Jews and the entire world, God sent his son. He sent Jesus his son, a part of himself, down to teach us personally face-to-face. Jesus boiled the 10 Commandments down to two rules. One, love your God with all your mind body and soul. Two, love everyone you meet as you love yourself. Jesus came to fulfill the promises made in the Old Testament. Like Adam ruined paradise in Genesis by disobeying God, Jesus conversely came to mend that and to save all people. Jesus did not come to radically change what God wanted or expected, but rather he came to fulfill the promises of the old testament clarify things and to teach about love and how to love with compassion and mercy. 

As a Christian and as a father I take my responsibilities very seriously. Not only am I charged to act and have a certain relationship with my God, but I am also charged to teach my wife and my children the proper way to love not only God but everyone they meet. Anyone who chooses to be a Christian is charged with these responsibilities. As a Christian, God even asks that I share his word, that I share the teachings of Jesus with others that I meet, even those that I am not related to. God wants me to learn and to come to realize how beautiful he is, his son is and the Holy Spirit is. On top of that, he doesn't want me to hoard his beautiful gifts or beautiful knowledge. As a Christian I am called to share my faith and my knowledge of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit with everyone that I meet.

If I see a fellow Christian who seems to be falling away I am called to compassionately and mercifully help them get back on track. I am called to do all these things out of love, for as God loves me he wants me put love in this world. By fulfilling this and the other requirements of Christianity, God will allow me into heaven for eternity. However if I choose to knowingly teach his covenant wrong, to not spread love in this world, to spread hate, fear, anxiety and distrust in this world, let's just say it would not be good for me.

So that's basically it, God wants us to love consistently just as he does. I know many who is cracked open the Bible, especially the Old Testament, and read some of the stories of old and have been perplexed because God comes off as a mean angry tyrant. Please know that this is not true. When you hit one of those one of those stories I highly recommend talking to someone who has a lot of experience studying the Bible and who is studied theology. For me I am Catholic and one of the reasons I love my Catholicism is because the Catholic Church has been there since the beginning.  Peter was our first pope. Not only did we largely form the Bible as it is today, but our forefathers have been studying it for nearly 2000 years. But no matter what your denomination or preference, I would highly recommend consulting someone who has studied the Bible and theology to great extent if you have if you ever have questions about God's love and why he has done the things he is done.

Just remember this, God is there for you now no matter what you do or who you become, no matter if you're rich or if you were poor, no matter if you are from a First World or a Third World country. God loves all, he does not discriminate. God wishes for you to love all and to not discriminate. God's love is consistent and it is true. Though this world is rife with sin, God is still there waiting with open arms to love you. There is no such thing as a perfect Christian. Every Christian is just is able to sin is a nonbeliever. So yes, even as Christians have to humbly appear before God on a regular basis and asked for forgiveness. God doesn't expect you to be perfect. God just wants you to love. 

How about a cheeseburger? I think I'm in the mood for a cheeseburger right now. 

Mmm Cheese-burg-er!

MT 5:17-19

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets.
I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.
Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away,
not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter
will pass from the law,
until all things have taken place.
Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments
and teaches others to do so
will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven.
But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments
will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.”

TRASH THE JOINT! Wait, What?

This reminds me of a motto I used to have when I played in bands that played on different stages in different places. My motto was leave the stage in better shape than when you walked onto it. It was so easy to get done with the performance and just walk away with duct tape, trash, set-lists and junk left all over the place. Our performances were usually very physical and very taxing, walking off the stage or rather shuffling off the stage with whatever energy you had left over. But the problem is that when doing that you leave your mess to someone else. You leave someone else in charge of cleaning up after you. My thought was always that you should be respectful of the people who provided you with the stage and leave it just is clean if not cleaner than when you found it. The same goes with people, it's so easy to just go through your life and focus on your own desires needs and wants. Problem is, that does not leave for a very nice world. I find that when I walk through life focusing on only myself I leave a trail of trash behind whether it be physical, emotional or mental.
When focusing only on myself I plow through life like a speed boat across a still lake. Behind me I leave waves and a rather large wake, where I had once been. That wake in turn can create difficulties for others who try to pass along the same way. The world today encourages us to focus only on ourselves. However in a countercultural manner, God encourages us to love every single person we meet and to even sometimes deny our own desires to care for others. I find that when I do this an overwhelming sense of love and warmth penetrates every speck of my soul. It's almost like Christmas morning when I watch the people I love open the gifts that I give them. I eagerly wait for them to open and see what they have received and when I see the look of pure joy and satisfaction on their face I feel truly wonderful. God encourages us to love. He wants us to spread love on this world because love is truly the most important thing that matters. If we could all learn to love as God wants us to love we could easily ban sickness, pain, hunger and poverty in this world. We could actually create a little heaven here down on earth. Making others happier can be as easy as passing strangers on the sidewalk, locking eyes with them and smiling without saying a word. He can be as easy as touching base with that coworker that looks distressed and making sure that they're OK. It can be as easy as giving that homeless person the five dollars in your pocket that you really have no important need for. Changing the world and making it a better place is does not have to be any grand master plan. It can be a matter of many small, important and heartfelt things done.

How is Your Life? "Just Nice" or AMAZING!

There are things in life that escape me. Actually there are things in life that escape us all. One of my talents that I have been given is that of an artist. I love to create. In different mediums and in different ways. Recently it was my anniversary and I decided to make breakfast for everyone. Within moments I was cooking up a storm. Now most things were rather self made. Sausage, waffles, the drinks, toast and the like, but the eggs were different. I had an opportunity to really have a go at those eggs. So peering through the fridge like an artist does with a pallet of color I grabbed a little bit of this and that and executed my batch. While I got many compliments on my eggs it just seemed as though something was missing, and that bugged me. It's like after coming in from the studio and looking at one of my family members and asking them, "how did the band sound today?"

"It sounded nice", is a dreaded reply.

Many of us in this world wish to achieve all we can and deep down we know when something is missing. Being ourselves it can be hard to see what is missing because we are in the middle of everything. We don't have the ability to step away and find that clarity of a bird's eye view. This is where Jesus comes in so handy. By reading the Gospels I get  a personal check each day I make time to read. I have other "coaches" that help me as well with the same spiritual point of view. I am so thankful and so invaluable. If you ask the average person what a Christian is supposed to do and be you will hear a long list of rules and regulations, though in actuality it is very simple. To be a Christian is to love. Love God with all your mind, body and soul and love everyone else you meet as you love yourself. Close study of the 10 commandments reveals this to me. Loving is easy. What makes it hard is our egos. Our pride, our self-worth makes it hard. 

"Why should I give that homeless bum on the corner the 10$ in my pocket?", I ask sometimes. The answer, because she/he is a person. A brother or sister in humanity that was put on this planet just like me. Who should be loved just like me. Who should be cared for just like me. Who deserves deserves mercy and compassion just like me. Why should I give the homeless person 10$? Because as a Christian I am called to love and to love is to care for those in need.  I sometimes try and legitimize not giving my money. "I need that! I deserve that! I worked hard for that 10$! But that is not love speaking. 

To be honest it's hard being Christian, but with Jesus' help I succeed. When I try to be a Christian on my own I fail, so why be a Christian? Because I find peace, when I follow the discipline of Jesus Christ I find peace, serenity and happiness. I still have bad days. Actually I still have bad weeks, but I find that in following Jesus I can take all the world has to give and deal with it. If I ask and follow Jesus I get the grace to overcome anything. If I find stress wiggling in, its usually because I have allowed myself to get distracted and have stopped following Jesus' way. Anyone can have this peace. Anyone can find eternity in Heaven with God. For some it is harder than others but that is why God is standing there waiting, to help. That's why Jesus came to earth, to teach us the way. That is why the Holy Spirit is sent to us, to give us strength in our times of need, but we have to ask. We have to choose. Do we choose the world and Satan's ways, or do we choose God's ways. Do we feed our own desires or do we choose to love, moment by moment, day by day, week by week and year by year. Will we make mistakes? Yes, for NO Christian is perfect, and that is what Jesus is there for. He is waiting to give us forgiveness if we truly seek it. Jesus wants to heal our wounded souls so that we can learn and grow and continue our journey home into heaven, If we choose.

Gospel MK 10:17-27

As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up,
knelt down before him, and asked him,
“Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus answered him, “Why do you call me good?
No one is good but God alone.
You know the commandments: You shall not kill;
you shall not commit adultery;
you shall not steal;
you shall not bear false witness;
you shall not defraud;
honor your father and your mother.”
He replied and said to him,
“Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth.” 
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him,
“You are lacking in one thing.
Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor
and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”
At that statement, his face fell,
and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples,
“How hard it is for those who have wealth
to enter the Kingdom of God!”
The disciples were amazed at his words.
So Jesus again said to them in reply,
“Children, how hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God!
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”
They were exceedingly astonished and said among themselves,
“Then who can be saved?”
Jesus looked at them and said,
“For men it is impossible, but not for God.
All things are possible for God.”

The Swiss Army Knife, What Do You Need?

I remember when I was growing up one of most favorite gifts was a Swiss Army Knife. When I first received it I wasn't very grateful. Yeah I was a boy and it was a knife, it could cut things and so that was cool, but it wasn't a gift that I wowed over. To be honest for much time I didn’t carry it. It just sat around and it was just one of many other gifts my parents had given me, until. One day I needed a screw driver. Now as an adult I don't even walk around with a screwdriver in my pocket so I certainly didn’t have one on me then, but for some reason I had that knife and it worked. My mind for some reason was blown wide open. From that day on I found that if I kept that knife on me it came in handy in so many ways. If there was a problem it was very possible that the knife would be part of the answer, and what went from a gift that seemed meaningless and okay turned into a gift that had so many applications and helped me so much. I don't know where that knife is today. I probably lost it on one of my many youthful adventures, but I now find my faith like that knife only better. 

My faith has helped me so much. I believe in God. I have taken Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and savior. I have been baptized in the Holy Spirit. I goto my Church to learn and become stronger. I partake in the sacraments my Church affords me. Through the Sacraments I receive Grace that lets me fight off the temptation to sin. Through my faith I find love where I have not before. I find peace where I would never expect to find it. With God as my wingman I have a serenity that wraps me so warm and true. God simply will take care of you if you let him into your life and build a relationship with him. It’s not just simply going to church on Sunday. You don't just pray and tell Jesus what you expect him to do for you each day. You need to build a relationship with God. He loves you but he is not just going to do what you want. Like a good friend he will say “No” when necessary. Jesus is an amazing teacher he can help you navigate any troubled relationship, if you choose to listen. He can teach you to open your heart and find a love that is pure and more satisfying than any temporary pleasure. The Holy Spirit, if you let it into your life can help you in so many tough situations. All you need to do is ask. It can help you conquer any fear, doubt and uncertainty. Are you in need of a tool in your life that can work in all situations? I don't know of anyone that could use some help. I don't know of anyone that couldn't use a large dose of peace, love and serenity. God is waiting all you have to do is choose.

Isaiah 25:6-10

6On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of fat things, a feast of wine on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wine on the lees well refined. 7And he will destroy on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. 8He will swallow up death for ever, and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth; for the LORD has spoken. 9It will be said on that day, "Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation." 10For the hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain, and Moab shall be trodden down in his place, as straw is trodden down in a dung-pit.

Psalms 23:1-6

1The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want; 2he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters; 3he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. 5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows. 6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Matthew 15:29-37

29And Jesus went on from there and passed along the Sea of Galilee. And he went up on the mountain, and sat down there. 30And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the maimed, the blind, the dumb, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them, 31so that the throng wondered, when they saw the dumb speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing; and they glorified the God of Israel. 32Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, "I have compassion on the crowd, because they have been with me now three days, and have nothing to eat; and I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way." 33And the disciples said to him, "Where are we to get bread enough in the desert to feed so great a crowd?" 34And Jesus said to them, "How many loaves have you?" They said, "Seven, and a few small fish." 35And commanding the crowd to sit down on the ground, 36he took the seven loaves and the fish, and having given thanks he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 37And they all ate and were satisfied; and they took up seven baskets full of the broken pieces left over.

Michael Smith
Whisper Behind the Light
obbo_91@yahoo.com

I WANT! I WANT!

It’s funny when I get home from work anymore. Right now we are fully in the season of Advent and Christmas. My wife has amazing patience, she has to see, she runs a daycare out of our home. Everyday now when I come home it is T.V. time and the children are gathered around. They gaze at the show at hand, but now we have a new fun game to play. As the show fades to commercials ads of all sorts for toys and whatnot come on. “Oh oh, I want, I want”, I hear so many young voice exclaim. As one commercial rolls to another I hear sometimes piercing screams of joy over what they hope Santa puts under the Christmas tree. 

I often hear the same out of adults, but it is not said with the joy and adulation of young children. “I wish, my wife would do what I wanted” or “Why can’t my son just do his homework on time”, some groan about conflicts with parents or friends, but they all seem to desire the same thing, peace. You could give me a million dollars, a brand new fancy car and a magic pill to miraculously make me look like a super stud, but I would trade it all away for peace, love and serenity. For far too many hours in my past I have walked this world and with the desires of a child would see things and think, “I WANT! I WANT!”, and do the least to attain them, yes the least. I wanted things easy. I didn’t want to work at it. I didn’t want to know the real answers in life. 

I have an old house that I have fixed up a bit, a rusty car in the driveway, a yard that has grass growing in most of it but I have what I desire the most of all. I have peace, serenity and love. My world can flip upside down and I am okay. My youngest after his birth had health issues, I was okay. As Christmas rolls closer and closer I know that the tree will not have all the gifts my children desire under it and I am okay. I have peace, love and serenity. I have a job where people steal my food out of the fridge and I am okay. I have sometimes literally mountains of work to conquer that make me sweat and soar, but I am okay. Each day I am overwhelmed with the amount of tasks I am supposed to get done and I am okay. Why, because I have peace, love and serenity. 

What changed for me was that I found God, actually I found Jesus. I had always know God and that Jesus guy, yeah he seemed cool, I had never really spent time with Jesus and listened. Fed up with my life I started to read his teachings. Why not, nothing else seemed to satisfy. Slowly God’s wisdom was unveiled to me. Slowly I began to change. Slowly I went from a mindset of “I WANT I WANT” to “Thank you dear God I can't even count how many blessings you have given me each day”. Do I deserve these gifts from God? No, but God loves me so he gives them to me. God gives me my peace, serenity and love. God is my anchor. God is the rock I build my life upon. When I follow his ways all is well. When I do not, I fall. I am no perfect man. I am no hero. I have no amazing talent of myself. I am a sinner trying to be the best I can with God's help. I am a mere man but I have chosen to follow Jesus. I have chosen a life of study. I read his word and I try and understand. I pray to God for help and then most importantly, I work hard to listen. 

God has gifts to share with you that would put any array of gifts under the most beautiful Christmas tree to shame, and all you have to do is ask. All you have to do is let Jesus into your heart, and let him become you lord and savior. All you have to do is become baptized in the Holy Spirit. I urge you to come to Church and let go. Take the reins of your life and throw them up to God. You will be amazed with what he can do. The choice is yours. This is the season. This is great time for renewal. We are celebrating the arrival of Jesus to the world and hopefully your heart, so if you ever find yourself saying, “I WANT! I WANT!”, please pause and say a prayer cause God is there waiting to give you all you need. 

Isaiah 11:1-10

1There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch shall grow out of his roots. 2And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. 3And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide by what his ears hear; 4but with righteousness he shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked. 5Righteousness shall be the girdle of his waist, and faithfulness the girdle of his loins. 6The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them. 7The cow and the bear shall feed; their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. 8The sucking child shall play over the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder's den. 9They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain; for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea. 10In that day the root of Jesse shall stand as an ensign to the peoples; him shall the nations seek, and his dwellings shall be glorious.

Psalms 72:1, 7-8, 12-13, 17

0A Psalm of Solomon. 6May he be like rain that falls on the mown grass, like showers that water the earth! 7In his days may righteousness flourish, and peace abound, till the moon be no more! 11May all kings fall down before him, all nations serve him! 12For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. 16May there be abundance of grain in the land; on the tops of the mountains may it wave; may its fruit be like Lebanon; and may men blossom forth from the cities like the grass of the field!

Luke 10:21-24

21In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, "I thank thee, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to babes; yea, Father, for such was thy gracious will. 22All things have been delivered to me by my Father; and no one knows who the Son is except the Father, or who the Father is except the Son and any one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him." 23Then turning to the disciples he said privately, "Blessed are the eyes which see what you see! 24For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it."