A Story, An Autumn Beginning

It was a beautiful autumn day. The leaves were beginning to turn colors, the sky was a clear majestic blue, there was a slight crisp in the air and you could tell that the earth was preparing for a long winters nap. Mother nature was beginning to slow down, but yet still had one or two more turns around the dance floor before her winter slumber. A young man pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, positioned  his car and stepped out. Looking up to the sky the autumn sun warmed his face and for a mere moment everything seemed OK. Walking towards the entrance of the building his heart began to sink.  It was as if with each step his heart hung lower and lower. Halfway to the door his hands begin to twitch a little.  To disguise this nervousness he began rubbing his face as if he was questioning himself if he had shaved that day. Approaching the cement steps that lead to the door his heart began to pound harder and harder. As he placed his left foot on the first step his stomach began to churn. With his right foot on the second step his eyes began to look around as if he was looking for escape. With his left foot on the landing he wanted to run. He wanted to run through that door up the stairs and quickly into his apartment. Feeling of a heavy weight came over his entire body.  It was as almost as if it felt like he was going to be sucked up by the earth from the weight that he felt. Opening the door he walked inside and stared at his mailbox. Dare he touch it, dare he look? So nervous and anxious he just wanted the whole world to melt away. Fumbling with his keys he finally open the mailbox. It was crammed full, as if it could not except another piece of mail. Refusing to look at any of the labels he merely wadded up all the mail in his two hands and proceeded to his door. He unlocked the door, went inside and threw all the mail on the table immediately to the right of the entrance of his apartment. He did not turn around.  He refused to look at it. He had done his part for the day. He went over to his couch, sat down and turned on the television slowly his body began to calm. 

It was Monday, the only day he would allow himself to retrieve his mail. Opening the mailbox and seeing what was inside was just too stressful for him to do it every single day. The young man got up and got something to eat and after having a bit of lunch gathered together his courage. Pausing for a moment he thought about what he might incur and then started flipping through the mail. At first it seemed like it was going to be a pretty good day most of the mail was just junk, but then he began to see what was in store, first 1, 2, then 3, 4 notices from the bank. His heart sunk, he began to sweat, his legs got weak and he felt like he might fall to the floor. He didn't need to open all of them he just opened the last one. His eyes opened wide as he saw the amount of money he owed. As of late, life seemed long and hard and with no hope. Friday would be payday and at least he would make enough money to cover the debt. He might even have enough left over to cover the alcohol and cigarettes he would need to make it through the weekend. Emotionally he felt as if he had just run a marathon. Exhausted he walked over to his couch and laid down and fell asleep. 

Things had been this way for most of the last year. It was a long time in the making, the young man's life had been slowly disintegrating. There were many an evening where he would spend moments thinking about where he would end up, but as soon as the fear overcame him he would look for a distraction rather than face the cold hard truth. Most nights he would come home from work to empty home void of love. He would drink alcohol until he was too tired to watch any more television and sleep on his couch till it was time to goto work again. Night after night the screen flashed empty stories of pretend characters that the young man longed for. He longed for a life that was full of love and hope. He would stare vacantly at the screen while his thoughts ran wild in his mind, though once he started to think about how to put thoughts into action he was clueless. He felt stuck and helpless. There was no way that he could ever crawl out alive from his current life situation alone. His dreams would nosedive as his hopes plummeted, and again his drink would rise to his lips.

Laying there with his eyes wide open his alarm would beep. For a moment he hoped that work would call and tell him some story of why he didn't have to come in, but it didn't. Rising up he pulled himself together. As he walked out of his apartment he glanced down at the mail he had opened earlier. It was over for now, it was time for him to head back out into the real world. The door shut like a prison door behind him. The room sat still as if it were frozen in time. The sunlight slowly passed the blinds in front of the window till it was no longer existent. A few hours after sunset the doorknob began to giggle. The knob slowly turned and the young man entered the apartment again. Shuffling like a zombie, he walked into the bedroom, he disrobed and put on some more comfortable clothing. Back to the kitchen area the young man grabbed a beer out of the fridge, pausing for a moment he then grabbed two. The first drink always went down so fast. Back on his couch he fired up the television, opened his beer and lit a cigarette. 

He tried to watch TV but the show was just too happy. It reminded him of how utterly lost he was. As he held his forehead he began rewinding the last few years. He was searching his past. He was trying to remember the last time that he was truly happy. Halfway through a drag on his cigarette it dawned on him. He stopped inhaling and the smoke began to roll out of his mouth and across his face. Whether it was the memory or the smoke, his eyes began to well up. Tears began to roll down his face until they reached the middle of his chin. There they dripped and began to wet the carpet below. Putting out his cigarette he then rubbed his eyes, bloodshot he couldn't stop crying. His thoughts had drifted all the way back to high school. He remembered a time when he felt optimistic and free. Most importantly though he remembered how he had felt so peaceful. What was so different? What was so different about his life back then compared to now? He didn't have a great job. He didn't have a lot of friends. His family was the same then as it was now. 

Then it dawned on him, and his head sunk even lower.

The difference was that in his youth he believed in and followed more than himself. His life was not about chasing momentary pleasures as it did now. When he was younger he had faith. He believed in God. His life was about more than just himself. He was dedicated to a life of loving, not just God, but everyone he met. In contrast his now was all about himself. It was about feeding each and every desire that he had. He used anyone he could to get what he wanted. Sure there were people that he cared about, but he cared about himself most of all. He was wrong. Deep down he knew that he was wrong and that was why he was so cold and alone. The more he tried to fill himself with pleasure the more empty he felt. The young man wanted more. He wanted to feel free. He wanted to feel loved, more importantly he wanted to love. He knew what he had to do, but he was scared. 

"No", he thought, "It's too impossible. I have done too much. I have sinned too much. There is no way I could turn around now. God would never take me back."

He thought again about those beautiful teen years. Life wasn't perfect but it was filled with so much hope and love. As he opened his eyes he looked around. The life he was a part of now was too intimidating, it was too big of a mess. There was no way he could turn that all back around. Who was he after all? Feeling defeated a whisper flickered in the back of his conscience, so small but so clear. 

"I can help you", it whispered. 
Initial hope was quickly drowned out by male pride, "I don't need any help", he thought, "I got myself into this mess I can get myself out."

"I love you", the voice whispered.

The man's eyes welled up again. He gave up on trying to hold back the tears. The words were those that he had longed for some time to hear. Sobbing he put his face in his hands. 

"I'm so sorry", the young man could barely get the words out. Instantly all the wrongs he had committed over the past years came rushing in. Was it possible? Could he be forgiven? Could he try and start over again? 

"I'm waiting to help you if you want, but you have to let me in" the voice whispered.

Sobbing the man stated out loud, "I'm sorry. I just so sorry. I don't care. I can't do this anymore. Please, please I beg of you God forgive me. Please take all this away. I am so sorry. I will try, I promise. Please make me whole. Make me better. Fix me, I am so broken. Please be my God. I am just so sorry. Please teach me to be better. I am anything but perfect. I know I have made a million mistakes and will make a million more but I can't do this on my own anymore. Please come into my life. I take you as my savior." 

The man could barely pronounce all the words he was sobbing so hard. Feeling emotionally spent he just sat there in a hovel on his couch.

"It's okay, you need to rest now", the voice whispered.

The man turned off the television, laid down and went to sleep. He didn't know where he was going or where he would end up, but for the first time in a long time he wasn't scared because he knew he wasn't alone. 

Pay It Forward or Pay Your Pocket?

One thing that I have learned from life is that if you want something you need to go get it. Life is about actions. We are what we do. God is no different he judges us by our actions. I have spoke to many a person that has told me, "All you need is faith to get into the kingdom of heaven." Yes, you need faith but I ask what kind of faith do you have it is not followed by good works. God knows that this world works best when we serve not ourselves but our fellow man. To have compassion and commit acts of charity and kindness for those less fortunate than ourselves is truly Christian. I see "non-christians" everyday committing acts of charity. When we care for strangers out of the goodness of our hearts we sew love into this world,and as the famous saying goes, you reap what you sew. Do some acts go unnoticed? Yes, and they should. We shouldn't do charity for any kind of recognition or fame. We should do it out of love. Love means giving without expecting anything in return. We should do it out of love and appreciation for what we have. Out of thankfulness for God and all of his gifts, and we should be charitable to those less fortunate out of love because we are all brothers and sisters in this world. God has bestowed so many blessings, the first of which is, that he gave us life. He didn't have to but he did because he is filled with love and wanted to share life. He loves us so that the sent his son to teach us how to love. Jesus loved us so much that he share lessons of life to help keep us safe with each other. Jesus even died on the cross for us. A most terrible death he endured for us because of our sins. If we let him God will travel with us every day in the Holy Spirit and aid us at every turn. I know for some time is short or money may be little, but if you can take 5 minutes a day and pray for those in need. You can take a dollar and buy one extra can of food to drop in a donation basket. Charity is like a muscle and the more you use it the stronger you will become with it. If you are lost and don't know where to begin, do not fear, pause and pray God will show you how you can help others. He loves you. Ponder this though, if you refuse to help others, who might help you in your time of need?

Matthew 25:31-40

31"When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. 32Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, 33and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. 34Then the King will say to those at his right hand, `Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' 37Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? 38And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? 39And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?' 40And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'

How Much Love Can You Handle?

How Much Love Can You Handle?

I without a doubt love few things more than my children. The only two things that I can think of are God and my wife. Other than that nothing comes above my children. Funny thing is though is that those two would want me to do anything for my children to keep them safe. I know some may be appalled that I hold my God and my wife above my children but they are the foundation on how I decide to treat my children and how I raise them. I keep a watchful eye and I try and keep away all those that would possibly bring them harm or take them down the wrong path. God is the same way. We are his children and he loves us all. He wants us to take care of each other. He wants us to influence each other for good not evil. God knows that we are flawed though. He gave us free will to choose or refuse, and when we make mistakes he will forgive without pause. We have to ask for forgiveness though. We must repent for our mistakes. God calls on us to do the same for those that wrong us. We are to love all at all times. We are to forgive, because forgiving is love. Just as someone who comes to God with an honest and truly sorrowful heart will be forgiven, so must we forgive those that ask for forgiveness. When we truly forgive, not only do we help mend that who has done wrong, but also we heal a part of our own heart that is hurt from being wronged. It’s not always easy to do. Many times I have been scorned by my fellow brother or sister and I have had to goto God. I ask him in prayer, “God please help me forgive. I don’t want to feel this anger or pain.” It takes time and reflection and prayer but God helps me through just like with everything else. To keep my days clear I am always looking at my heart and the actions of others. If I can help or advise I do. I pray daily to confer with God on things. Daily I try and spend time reading his son’s teachings to “stay in the zone” and to become stronger. I ask for the Holy Spirit to be with me always to direct me at times when I am weak. For not only do I love my children and I love all. I do not want to see anyone fall nor lead any one too. We are all children of God there for God loves us all and wants us all to keep each other safe and in love. How much more can you love today?

Luke 17:1-6

1And he said to his disciples, "Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come! 2It would be better for him if a millstone were hung round his neck and he were cast into the sea, than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. 3Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; 4and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, `I repent,' you must forgive him." 5The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" 6And the Lord said, "If you had faith as a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this sycamine tree, `Be rooted up, and be planted in the sea,' and it would obey you.

A Big Old Slice of Humble Pie? Mmm

Being humble today is such a hard thing to do. For some reason it seems to be a sin anymore to be wrong. Consequently I guess, I have seen people try and defend their actions to no end to prevent from being “wrong”. We are human therefore we will make mistakes. Anymore if I am wrong and I know it, I just admit it right away. I humble myself and say, “Sorry, you are so right I messed up I will try my hardest to not do that again.” If I get into an argument with my wife and she calls me out on a short coming on how I act, I don’t defend I acknowledge. “Yes, honey I am sorry. I am bad about “X” I will try and change my behavior.” I find that when I am willing to be humble and admit mistakes my peers and family are more likely to do the same. It’s funny how we can so easily see the mistakes of others. We can even sometimes see mistakes people will make before they even make them, but we can see our own faults. Jesus taught us to love. He taught that part of loving is forgiving. Forgive someone to no end. No matter how many mistakes they make. In our Lord’s Prayer we say, “Forgive us our sins/trespasses as we forgive those that sin/trespass against us.” That’s a pretty hefty line. We know that we all make mistakes and sometimes our mistake is a real doozy. And we say, “Okay God forgive me like I forgive that guy that cut me off in traffic last week. Forgive me like I forgave that woman for shorting me in the drive thru. Forgive me like I forgive my family member for lying to me.” We all know the world is not a fair place. Largely because it’s filled with humans. So before we look into another’s eyes and skewer them for mistake they have made let us look into our hearts and be humble. Look to God for help. He is ready to give us blessings through grace that he provides. He even made the Church so that we have a place to go to learn more, help others and grow stronger in our faith. Should we turn a blind eye to our brother? No, but we need to examine ourselves, the time we are in and move forward in love, speak with love, don the cloak of humility and spread forgiveness like dew on a spring morning. Covering all so that no one is left behind or left out and maybe through that we can find a little more unity and peace. For one day the age will close and Jesus will return and we will be judged. How well do you forgive?

Luke 12:54-59

54He also said to the multitudes, "When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, `A shower is coming'; and so it happens. 55And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, `There will be scorching heat'; and it happens. 56You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky; but why do you not know how to interpret the present time? 57"And why do you not judge for yourselves what is right? 58As you go with your accuser before the magistrate, make an effort to settle with him on the way, lest he drag you to the judge, and the judge hand you over to the officer, and the officer put you in prison. 59I tell you, you will never get out till you have paid the very last copper."

No One Belongs in the Trash

God wants us all in. Make no mistake he doesn’t need us. He was here before us and he will be here after our time on earth is over. Make no mistake, it’s a matter that God wants us. Fact is, God loves and he loves hard. He had so much love that he just couldn’t keep it inside. He had to create. He felt that pull to share life with others, with us. A loving relationship is a wonderful thing. It can help you move mountains and overcome great distances that you could never possibly imagine on your own. When 2 people come together in love something special can happen. All the love that they have for each other can make a new life. It is a special thing, it is an important thing. Where once there was nothing a life is created. In that moment of love and desire something new is in the world. A child, which embodies hope, love and promise for better days. God wants us to save sex for marriage. Why, because it is the act to bring life into the world. How many lost souls have I seen because they live not knowing both of their parents or because their parents have decided that taking care of themselves is more important that making a loving home to take care of a life they created. Is this hard news? Yes, I’ve been in my fair share of bad spots in a relationship. It would be easy to walk away. Its easier to get what you want when you are on your own, but with children you are never alone. They are always out there waiting for Mommy and Daddy to love them together as a family. God wants us to wait and make sure that we find the right person before we have sex, before we bring life into the world. God wants us to wait till we find the person we vow to spend the rest of our life with to have sex. Yes, so that we don’t have to worry about disease, but it’s not about us its about the child that may come into this world. God loves children and he doesn’t want to see them alone. He wants them loved and cared for.  Love isn’t about finding someone that will take care of you. Love means that you are ready to take care of someone else(s) for the rest of your life, your wife, your husband, your child. We live in a world that seems so bent on throwing things away. That car don’t go fast enough, get a new one. Your job holding you back, quit. Your spouse makes a mistake, divorce them. You and your partner are pregnant, get an abortion. Make your life easy kill that life that is growing inside of you. That way you can move on to other things that you can throw away. 

“there have been an estimated 54,559,615 abortions since the Supreme Court handed down its 1973 Roe vs. Wade decision allowing virtually unlimited abortions.” - http://www.lifenews.com

“The Holocaust was the systematic annihilation of six million Jews by the Nazi regime during World War 2.” - www.deathcamps.info/Leyson/faq.htm

I am not trying to trivialize the holocaust, it was an absolute travesty. Every time I have read about it and watched shows about it my heart sinks and fills with sorrow for the loss life and love, but even if the numbers on abortion were over stated its still alarming how many lives have been thrown away. I know that some will say that well, it not really a life. When do you want to call it a life then? I call it a life because it is the moment when life begins. If sperm didn’t reach egg then yeah, you would have no life, but if it does and fertilizes then you have a life and without that life there would be no “need” for an abortion. God wants us to follow his son and greatest teacher Jesus. Jesus taught us to love, not when we feel like it, all the time. He taught us to love under persecution. He taught us to when others mock us. He taught us to love and to forgive. Jesus loves you, no matter what mistakes you have made. God wants you close to him all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and follow. He will teach you the way if you are willing. He will never throw you away. It is so easy to hate, disregard and mock, especially when we hear things that call us out on things we have done wrong. God loves, God wants and he is waiting for you. God wants you.

Luke 9:57-62

57As they were going along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." 58And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head." 59To another he said, "Follow me." But he said, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father." 60But he said to him, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." 61Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home." 62Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."

Just Want To Be Loved?

To be refused is a very hurtful thing. Many times in my life I have been refused, cast away and completely mocked. Sometimes I was merely passing through an area other times I was actively trying to help others. It is easy to want justice to make things fair and lash back. In places where I have been trying to do good and help my fellow man it may make me want to recoil and withdraw and cease the aid that I was trying to bring, but that is not Christian. To be a Christian is to be merciful, to love, to provide acts of charity and accept the fact that you will not always be accepted. Jesus came to teach his people about love. How to love and forgive and to serve their fellow man. In return because he upset the powers that be and was not the great military/political leader that many sought he was arrested, beat, whipped and mocked. He was made to carry his instrument of death across town for all to witness and he was mocked and spit on some more. At the end of his journey he was nailed to a cross and raised and he did so to take the blame and pay the price of our sins. God could have sent wrath. Jesus being God himself could have removed himself from the situation and leveled a healthy dose of revenge, but he didn’t. He loved, he took the hate and the pain and the suffering and was merciful. God forgave, Jesus forgave and we are the better for it. Through Jesus’s kind and merciful act we can find our way to heaven. All we must do is accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour; to become baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit; to love God with all our mind, body, soul and to love all others as we love ourself. With that we can learn a treasure trove of ways to make our lives on earth so much more peaceful and worth while and through faith and good works we can find our way to heaven in the afterlife. Jesus asks us all to take up our cross and live as he did. He wants  us to worship God as he did. Jesus wants us to care for the sick as he did. He wants us to feed the hungry as he did. He wants us to love and care for the poor as he did. Will we me refusal along the way? Yes, but that should not deter us from trying. Will we be mocked along the way? Yes but we shouldn’t stop loving. Will some try and strike us or threaten us for following Jesus’s ways? Yes, but should not return in kind. For if we give up, stop loving, and strike back we only help this world turn into a hell on earth with pain, hate and poverty instead of trying to build a heaven on earth where there is peace, prosperity and where no one is left behind. 

Luke 9:51-56

51When the days drew near for him to be received up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. 52And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him; 53but the people would not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 54And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, "Lord, do you want us to bid fire come down from heaven and consume them?" 55But he turned and rebuked them. 56And they went on to another village.

Who am I and Who are You?

It took me a long time to figure out who I am. I felt so lost for so long. Make no mistake I knew what I did. And much can be told of a man by what he does. However I was wandering the world aimlessly walking and dealing day by day. It important to know who you are. To find what your purpose is. For if you know who you are you have insight to where you are going, what your call is. Sometimes I think I was just a wandering soul lost with no purpose. For a time I thought I was a musician, a writer but I was just babbling about things that were off the top of my head. Now I have purpose I have vision. I know who I am. I am a sinner trying to sin no more raising children to love, forgive ,work hard and respect. I am someone who toils when it is necessary to feed as many as I can but also who sits, prays and meditates to become better than I was yesterday. I am a Christian who tries to love God with all this heart, mind and soul and tries to love others and when I fall short I ask for forgiveness and try again. I know that Jesus is the son of God. I know this from studying the Bible and through that, my human reason and the gift of faith I believe it to be true. I believe in Jesus because I study his teachings and put them into practice. I have reaped the rewards of my stewardship. I have found peace and love. I have found happiness and community with others and him. I believe that there is a God. For when I open my eyes for the day and see the sky that rains and shines to grow the earth; which yields plants for me to eat and provide oxogen to breath; which gives home to all the creatures of the world I see purpose. I see the design of something beautiful and with each layer I pull back looking inward or outward I see purpose. I see hope and beauty and wonder. With sciences discoveries I do not find doubt, I see my creators ways. In times of conflict, pain and persecution I pray and ask for help and I feel the presence sometime of the Holy Spirit come upon me and aid me in my travels. I am no one special. I am just a soul on a mission to put as much love into the world as possible and to share where that comes from. Its important to know who you are and to know the people around you. I hope you know that Jesus is the son of God. If not encourage you to look with and find out with me. For he is and he is wonderful. The lessons to learn are unending and so is the peace and happiness that awaits, and so I ask, who are you?

Luke 9:18-22

18Now it happened that as he was praying alone the disciples were with him; and he asked them, "Who do the people say that I am?" 19And they answered, "John the Baptist; but others say, Eli'jah; and others, that one of the old prophets has risen." 20And he said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" And Peter answered, "The Christ of God." 21But he charged and commanded them to tell this to no one, 22saying, "The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised." 

Every Move You Make, I’ll Be Watching You

Try as I may I cannot hide. I am the things that I do and they are out for all to see. In this age where everything is recorded it seems we have to be on alert 24/7. Who is watching and what for, never before in America have there been so many cameras ready to catch our every move. Don’t worry I am not going to delve into conspiracy theories but even if the cameras weren’t there we would be watched all the time. Should it be that way? I remember one of my favorite priests saying one time, “If you are about to do something and you find yourself looking around to see if anyone is watching then maybe you shouldn’t be doing it.” As Christians we need be mindful for people watch us not for us but to see what Christians are like. Do we swear, lie, cheat, covet? Do we pray before meals? Do we goto Church on Sunday? More importantly how do we act when we are not in church? Convexly the opposite is true. Do we not pray before meals because we fear ridicule? Do we not read our Bible openly because we fear to be thought of as uptight? Do we fear to teach lessons referencing God because we are afraid of stirring up religious conversation? Know this, above all else God is always watching. I know that for some of the things I have done in my past I am surprised God has not struck me with lightning. I chuckle a little over that but he is always watching. He is always hoping that not only will we choose the right way but also share why we choose what we choose if it is for him. If we walk a life where we do as God asks and talk about God and try to share his ways and love will we find ridicule? Yes, but thats part of our call to take up the cross. Accepting Jesus as my lord and savior has given me gifts beyond imagine. Never did I think in days past that I would be where I am and have what I have. Its is all because of God, the teachings of Jesus and help from the Holy Spirit. Think of this though, the lonely soul, lost and beaten, dirty and ashamed, not knowing where to go or how to get where peace and love flourishes.  Could you look that person in the eye and not feel remorse that you did not help them and allowed their continued suffering? God calls us to love others as ourselves. If we were the one in pain how would we feel if we found out someone had the answer and did not share it. I think maybe we would be hurt, perhaps angry or confused that someone thought us unworthy to share with. Make no mistake there are those looking let us not hide the light of Jesus that we hold inside. Let it be a guiding light for others. And for those lost, welcome to the doorstep, please come in for on the path and in the home of Jesus love is in abundance and you are wanted.

Luke 9:7-9

7Now Herod the tetrarch heard of all that was done, and he was perplexed, because it was said by some that John had been raised from the dead, 8by some that Eli'jah had appeared, and by others that one of the old prophets had risen. 9Herod said, "John I beheaded; but who is this about whom I hear such things?" And he sought to see him.

Somewhere Out There…

Its important to know where you’re from to figure out what you need to do to get where you want to go. Jesus came from the most unlikely of places. A unwed, poor mother in a time when poor unwed mothers would be stoned to death for having sex out of wedlock (adultery). Out of those circumstances we receive Jesus, a man that changed the world and has taught so many. He teaches to not judge but forgive, to not hate but to love and that he was willing to die a most horrible death for mistakes you have and will make. I invite everyone to take some time to study the teachings of Jesus. Whether a Christian or not he has some very powerful words. Even Grandi was a fan of Jesus, it was being turned away from a Christian church though that turned him off. I encourage all to love with blind eyes and welcome everyone. Jesus calls us to feed the hungry, cloth the naked and tend to the sick. There was not caveat there. He didn’t say feed, cloth or tend to those that look like you. He didn’t say to just pay taxes that say are supposed to do that. God wants us to get our hands dirty. He wants us to humble ourselves and serve others in need with our own two hands. As someone who is a sinner I know that I have much to learn. I want to be a better person so I need study and practice. I look to Jesus for that. He fills me with a hope and a light that lifts me higher than I have ever felt. Each week I goto Church to learn and to give back. I go for community and to study and to find opportunities to help others. I thank God everyday for blessings he has bestowed me. With my eyes forward and my talents in hand I kneel humbly in the service of God and my fellow man. With God, Jesus and Holy Spirit as my guide I know I can accomplish anything.

Matthew 1:1-16, 18-23

1The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. 2Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram, 4and Ram the father of Ammin'adab, and Ammin'adab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5and Salmon the father of Bo'az by Rahab, and Bo'az the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6and Jesse the father of David the king. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uri'ah, 7and Solomon the father of Rehobo'am, and Rehobo'am the father of Abi'jah, and Abi'jah the father of Asa, 8and Asa the father of Jehosh'aphat, and Jehosh'aphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzzi'ah, 9and Uzzi'ah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezeki'ah, 10and Hezeki'ah the father of Manas'seh, and Manas'seh the father of Amos, and Amos the father of Josi'ah, 11and Josi'ah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon. 12And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoni'ah was the father of She-al'ti-el, and She-al'ti-el the father of Zerub'babel, 13and Zerub'babel the father of Abi'ud, and Abi'ud the father of Eli'akim, and Eli'akim the father of Azor, 14and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eli'ud, 15and Eli'ud the father of Elea'zar, and Elea'zar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ. 18Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit; 19and her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20But as he considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; 21she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." 22All this took place to fulfil what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23"Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel" (which means, God with us).

Trying to Jam in That Square Peg?

Far too many times I have been guilty of trying to stick a round pet in a square hole far too many times. I always say its something that might accomplished but you’re going to make a pretty big mess. I decided a long time ago how I was going to help Jesus. It was my way, not his, and of course my way was flawed and I didn’t accomplish a thing. For years I wrote songs from a  Christian perspective but I would stop short at actually proclaiming the word or where I was coming from. As I walked further and further down that path I got farther and father away from my goal. I wanted to tell stories and enlighten and all I did was take part in far too many nights being surrounded by the excesses in life and eventually succumbing to them. I thought I was getting a taste of the good life, but I was bound in slavery. There was never enough drink, drugs, music or easy relationships. I was empty inside and felt alone. No matter how much I tried to consume I only got hung over, burnt out and no one was around to help when I was in trouble. I was left by the side of the road to die.

God was always waiting for me to come back. I finally did come home and I had to learn life all over again. I had to learn what real love was. That it wasn’t some time in the bedroom but truly caring for someone and putting them before me. To disregard my wants and desires for someone else’s in a righteous way. Instead of looking for a high that was false based on chemical reactions in my brain I found one what was through love and true by studying how to love and more importantly forgive. That fills the hole permanently and spreads from Jesus through me to others and hopefully forward. I learned that a celebration is truly for those that were once lost and now found when they also learn the true meaning of love and forgiveness that comes from God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I know some might think this is stupid. That I am weak, but I don’t care. I have what I want and the suffering has faded. I invite you to a new way. No matter if you think you’re lost or not. Life can be better. 

Luke 5:33-39

33And they said to him, "The disciples of John fast often and offer prayers, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees, but yours eat and drink." 34And Jesus said to them, "Can you make wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? 35The days will come, when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in those days." 36He told them a parable also: "No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it upon an old garment; if he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. 37And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; if he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. 38But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. 39And no one after drinking old wine desires new; for he says, `The old is good.'"

Mad As A Slave

It can be very hard to battle the truth when it sits right in front of your face. I have a trouble with anger. Its something that I have spent a lot of time dealing with through prayer and meditation. When the truth used to present itself to me and show me that I was wrong in something I would work very hard to defend myself. The thing is, there is nothing wrong with being wrong. We are flawed and have free will it is inevitable that we will make mistakes. I once was told that the best way to face my shortcomings was to pray to Jesus first thing in the morning and envision him in front of me. I was told to ask for his help that he be a witness to me that day to help me stay on the right track. I even pray to the Saints and Mary from time to time and ask them to put in a good word for me and for their help as well. Do I still get mad? Yes, but I find now that as soon as I do I remember my goal and my requests in prayer. I feel Jesus there with me shaking his head with a smile on his face reminding me of how to act and what to do. 

God sent Jesus not to remind us of his desire for harsh rule. He sent Jesus to teach us the love inside his lessons and rules. God doesn’t just make up rules to be like a dictator. He does it out of love because he wants to see us successful and happy. True evil reviles love and hates it for it conquers what evil is trying to do. God is pure true love and evil wants to see the fall of that. Evil will try and trick you into thinking you are getting what you want and deserve and are better off, and then enslave you because enough is never enough. Love teaches that sacrifice is more fulfilling and rewarding and creates a better place. How the world could shine if we would all love each other as we do ourselves.

Luke 4:31-37

31And he went down to Caper'na-um, a city of Galilee. And he was teaching them on the sabbath; 32and they were astonished at his teaching, for his word was with authority. 33And in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon; and he cried out with a loud voice, 34"Ah! What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God." 35But Jesus rebuked him, saying, "Be silent, and come out of him!" And when the demon had thrown him down in the midst, he came out of him, having done him no harm. 36And they were all amazed and said to one another, "What is this word? For with authority and power he commands the unclean spirits, and they come out." 37And reports of him went out into every place in the surrounding region.

No, the Sky Is Green... Doh!

We live in a strange world right now. I don’t know when we got here if it was over night but I think it was more of a gradual transformation. We seem to live in a society now where we try to think of nothing as wrong just varying points of view. The idea of one truth has seemed to gotten skewed. Maybe it stems from the fact that no one likes being wrong. I remember when I was little I would be in agony sometimes because I mad a mistake and let my parents down. This week at work I realized I had wronged someone at work. Instead of focusing on love I allowed my weakened spirit think only of myself. I could have easily not even acknowledged it. I could have even waited until I found the person in private and then apologized but instead I sought them out and in front of another admitted my mistake and apologized. They tried to give me an easy out but I wouldn’t have it.

As I tell my children so many times rules are there for a reason. Sometimes its for our sake, sometimes the sake of others, I know that the hardest thing I had to do was to admit my mistakes and ask for forgiveness. See I had been way off the path for a great amount of time. I did a lot of really bad stupid things. When I realized where I was, where I needed to be and why I had to fess up. So I came home to God walking in the door starring at my feet I sat down looked up and started laying it all out everything I was sorry for and asked for forgivness. Its hard to admit we were wrong and I see some defend themselves to no end to avoid admitting it. Whenever faced with the hard reality of sin I first examine it really hard. Why is this wrong? Once I understand it I have an easier time coming to terms with my mistake and asking for forgiveness. God is not cruel. He doesn’t need you to do immensely painful things to make up for your sins. You are his child and like a good parent he just wants to hear you say that you are earnestly sorry and efforts to avoid the same mistake in the future. God loves you and wants you to come home. Waiting with open arms, a warm hug and a understanding smile all you have to do is say you are sorry.

Mark 6:17-29

17For Herod had sent and seized John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Hero'di-as, his brother Philip's wife; because he had married her. 18For John said to Herod, "It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife." 19And Hero'di-as had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. But she could not, 20for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and kept him safe. When he heard him, he was much perplexed; and yet he heard him gladly. 21But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his courtiers and officers and the leading men of Galilee. 22For when Hero'di-as' daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, "Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will grant it." 23And he vowed to her, "Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom." 24And she went out, and said to her mother, "What shall I ask?" And she said, "The head of John the baptizer." 25And she came in immediately with haste to the king, and asked, saying, "I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter." 26And the king was exceedingly sorry; but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. 27And immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard and gave orders to bring his head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, 28and brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl; and the girl gave it to her mother. 29When his disciples heard of it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb.

A Thought: Wait, Wait, Wait, Oops!

Procrastination gets the best of us all at one time or another. For some it becomes a way of life. I can remember a spell when I was in my teens where everything was always done at the last minute. How my grades would have soared if I had put the effort I put into play into them. God wants us to be vigilant. He knows that for us how he acts is very slowly. I can’t really recall much in the bible that happened fast. He knows that our minds wander and we can be easily distracted, but like a good parent he wants us to learn to focus. He wants us to appreciate the longterm goal and how many more goods are raised from being patient over the instant gratification. It can be so difficult in an age of “hustle and bustle” to slow down, unplug, stop, take a big breath and reflect on what our goal is every day. 

God gave us his son who died for our sins and established the Church. It was then given to us through Peter to take care of it. Sometimes I wonder what our review would be if it was given today. I would say that some do really well. Though I myself being in the position I am and talking to the people I see hear something disturbing far too often. Words of, “I stop going to Church cause I was rejected”. When I hear these words I lower my head and I pray for help in Church hoping that no one ever feels that pain again. I was there once myself and I left for quite sometime. For all those that attend, please love. When you see someone new, smile, say hello. The Church is for you but it is for everyone. Christianity is not some exclusive club, it is here for all. 

I realize that men and women are flawed and we make mistakes. I will be the first to admit that I do some pretty stupid things sometimes, but if you are reading this and need a home. Please come home, the Church does want you. Actually, we need you, you have talents from God that are a blessing to this world. I feel so more alive now than I ever have in life. I experience a love that filled that deep dark hole that lay inside me so long ago. God commands us to love one another like we love ourselves and where we can learn that and put it into action is Church and as we strengthen that love we then must take it out into the world to share.

Matthew 24:42-51

42Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. 43But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into. 44Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect. 45"Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? 46Blessed is that servant whom his master when he comes will find so doing. 47Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. 48But if that wicked servant says to himself, `My master is delayed,' 49and begins to beat his fellow servants, and eats and drinks with the drunken, 50the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, 51and will punish him, and put him with the hypocrites; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.

A Thought: So You Say You Want to Win the Lottery

Sometimes we win the lottery and we don’t even know it. Yesterday at work I got the call that my mother was in a car accident and there was no info on how bad it was yet. All I knew was a vague location and that they were cutting her out of the car. At work there was nothing I could do but pray. I sent out a quick message to a few people asking for prayers and that was it. All that was left was to sit and wait and pray. I began to think about my mother what it might mean if things weren’t okay and she was taken from me. I thought about some of the millions of times together that I could remember. I felt so calm because I was so lucky. I was lucky to have a Mom that taught me so much to navigate this twisted world I live in. I felt like I had won the lottery. I prayed hard almost nonstop. “Please God keep my Mom safe”, over and over and over again, and then I got the call. She was fine, a couple minor bumps and bruises and she came home after a quick check out. 

Immediately I thanked God over and over. Its easy when the coast is clear to forget about God but oh how some of us beg when under pressure. I wonder if God feels like I do sometimes when I have one of my children approach me. “Dad please, please help me, this project is do tomorrow can you help me build this?”, which usually means I will build it while they stand there. I smile and chuckle now recalling such instances but it stings a little. Why did they wait till the last minute? I would have gladly helped at any time, but now with seconds dwindling I am rushing to make a robot on a track that is functional and good so that my son can get a good grade for what I don’t even know. 

God wants to be there for all of us at any given moment but we have to let him in. If a stranger came up to you and asked for $1,000 would you give it to him? If you knew someone all of you life, they loved you very much, helped you whenever you needed it, and then one day asked you for $1,000 would you give it? I condemn no one. I am no better than no one. God invites us all to heaven but we have to heed his word. You have free will. You can do what you want. What do you want to do?

Matthew 22:1-14

1And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying, 2"The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a marriage feast for his son, 3and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the marriage feast; but they would not come. 4Again he sent other servants, saying, `Tell those who are invited, Behold, I have made ready my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves are killed, and everything is ready; come to the marriage feast.' 5But they made light of it and went off, one to his farm, another to his business, 6while the rest seized his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. 7The king was angry, and he sent his troops and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. 8Then he said to his servants, `The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. 9Go therefore to the thoroughfares, and invite to the marriage feast as many as you find.' 10And those servants went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good; so the wedding hall was filled with guests. 11"But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment; 12and he said to him, `Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?' And he was speechless. 13Then the king said to the attendants, `Bind him hand and foot, and cast him into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.' 14For many are called, but few are chosen." 

A Thought: Being Stubborn and Learning Something New

I am going to admit that I am a bit stubborn. Everyone who knows me well will attest to this. Now I will say that I am not bullheaded but I am stubborn which means that I can listen to reason it just takes a bit of time. I find this trait helpful when I am on a mission. Being stubborn makes it hard to distract me and move my focus. However one down side is that if I am going somewhere and I am going to be late I just to opt not go sometimes. Too many times I sat in the movie theater wonder what was going on for the whole flick cause I showed up late and missed something and so I feel lost. I hate feeling lost. Problem is showing up late may mean that I am missing out on a little bit but what can be worse is missing out on the whole thing. 

God is kinda like that. He don’t care who you are, where you are from, how much money you have, what you look like, nothing. God doesn’t care about anything about  you. Now this is the part where some of my non believer friends will be like, “oh well I met a so called Christian one time and they treated me like crap!” Dude, straight up right now I will say that I am sorry. To be honest just cause were Christian don’t mean we’re perfect. Christians make mistakes too. So please, I am sorry please forgive us and our shortcomings and give God another shot. You gotta question or want someone to goto Church with ask me. I got your back. God just wants you to show up. It doesn’t matter if you show up on time or 10 years late. He loves you and wants you there.  Jesus teaches God loves us all the same no matter what. All he wants is for you to love him with all your body, mind and soul and to love everyone you meet as you love yourself. Its not always easy, especially in the beginning but trust me you start following the words of Jesus and your life opens up in a way that is special. I have never been so happy in my life. Even when I get down and out and things are terrible I would still rather be a Christian going through pain then how I used to, ALONE and empty.

So don’t worry about what other people say, what you think or how you feel. God loves you and there is a whole bunch of other people out there that want to love you too. So I encourage you to find that nerdy Church freak you know and ask them if you can go to Church with them. Open that Bible and read about what Jesus taught. Come spend some hang time with God cause it only gets better and better. 

Matthew 20:1-16

1"For the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. 2After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. 3And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the market place; 4and to them he said, `You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give you.' So they went. 5Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same. 6And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing; and he said to them, `Why do you stand here idle all day?' 7They said to him, `Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, `You go into the vineyard too.' 8And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his steward, `Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.' 9And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius. 10Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius. 11And on receiving it they grumbled at the householder, 12saying, `These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.' 13But he replied to one of them, `Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for a denarius? 14Take what belongs to you, and go; I choose to give to this last as I give to you. 15Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?' 16So the last will be first, and the first last."

A Thought: Stuff That Keeps Getting In the Way

There are times when I find myself just spending my days taking care of “stuff”. I move it, clean it, work on it, work with it, play with it and all other kinds of “its” with my “stuff”. God wants our focus to be on him. Not because he is a complete ego maniac but because he knows that we are easily distracted. I have two young boys and all I used to hear about was video games. When they would play, what they would play, how they would play, they would get angry and mistreat one another if they interfered with each’s video games. So I put it to a stop and put them on high restriction where they could only play on the weekends when all of there chores and responsibilities were taken care of. An amassing thing happened they slowly began to think of other things. It was easy to teach them because video games weren’t lingering in their mind. From time to time they still slip and want to binge but for the most part they are more focused on important things.

God doesn’t care if you have money, material possessions or power. What does concern him though is that if we spend too much time acquiring such things then we spend less time doing what is really important. See this would works pretty good but it works a whole lot better when we care for one another. If we start focusing on things of man then we loose focus of love. I used to idolize guitars and music. There were never enough guitars hanging on my wall. I spent all my free time searching for the next purchase. Everything was kept in balance by my music and guitars. Problem was guitars weren’t perfect. On a bad day my guitars couldn’t give me advice on how to act. Because I was focused on collecting guitars and playing music so much I missed out on problems in my life when they were small and I didn’t notice till they were large and hard to handle. 

When God says “every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. “, this means that those who leave behind desires men and women have and focus God’s mission they will easily enter the kingdom of heaven because they will have taken on a life of sacrifice and love instead of one worshiping “idols” by means of collecting “stuff”, money or power. You can get into heaven rich, poor, powerful, nobody, with everything or nothing the key is that you love God with all your heart and love everyone as you would want to be loved. God doesn’t want us to focus on things he wants us to focus on him and how to love and that is the guide and map to get into heaven. He sent Jesus down with some pretty good lessons on how to live. I suggest reading his lessons in the Bible. I have taken Jesus as my savior, my hero, the person I base my life on and who I look up to. Am I perfect? No, I make mistakes all the time but God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. All we have to do is ask for forgiveness and try to do better. God already loves us. He just wants us to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. 

Matthew 19:23-30

23And Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly, I say to you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." 25When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished, saying, "Who then can be saved?" 26But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 27Then Peter said in reply, "Lo, we have left everything and followed you. What then shall we have?" 28Jesus said to them, "Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of man shall sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. 30But many that are first will be last, and the last first.

A Thought: Is Your Brain Burning?

I can recall a moment when I was considering becoming a full on hardcore christian. I had been raised in the church but because of my bull-headedness and free will I decided to go it my own way. I was okay for a while but trying to do my own “God thing” didn’t work out so well. I made bad choices and over time slowly wandered off the path to the point that I was so far out into the tall weeds that I had no idea where I was or where I was going. Coming back I wanted to remain low key but the more I studied the more I realized that wasn’t for me. Heading back to a formal Church was overwhelming. Words from my past snapped in front of my face. Rules, rules, rules, its not that I didn’t want to follow them but it was that I didn’t know if I could keep them all in check. Then one day I was reading my Bible and it came to me actually in a verse. 

Mark 12:30

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

Mark 12:31

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

That pretty much summed it up as I still read today I can hear these words in every lesson that I learn from Jesus. Its my goto in case of doubt in my day. When at a crossroads I think of these words. And like a good leader Jesus led by example. He came and found wonderful men ready to love and spread the word of love. As we read they were not perfect men. There isn’t such a thing but he chose them anyway and taught them, loved them and served them. Eventually Jesus died for us. He came to teach and love to serve us so that we could learn a better way and when the people of the day refused him, they killed him. He could have run away, he could have ascended into heaven but instead he decided to do the most loving thing. He took the blame for all of us, even the ones not born yet and let man kill him. It wasn’t a quick death either he was beaten, spit on, mocked and then he had to lug his own cross across town (which he did eventually get some help) where he was then nailed to his cross and then stabbed in the side. I don’t remember the exact day but when I put together that God just wants us to love him and each other and then he died over it my brain completely fried for a second. I hear people say all the time “God is all about rules and doesn’t want you to have any fun”, no thats not true. God loves you like a parent. Being a parent I can now understand so much. I don’t want my children to get hurt so I make rules to keep them safe. If the break the rules I punish them to let them know that I am serious. I don’t want them to get hurt so I don’t let them jump on the couch. I want them to be happy so I teach them to not do drugs. God gave us free will. He is basically saying, “This is what I want you to do, you can do whatever you want, but if you don’t follow my rules you can’t live in my house.” I have tried living on both sides of the line. I even spent time walking it dipping my toe into either side for a while. I will tell you that all that I gave up to live on God’s side was well worth it. I am full and happy. Do I miss anything? No, but my body does still crave some of that stuff from time to time. Am I perfect? No, I still make some pretty stupid mistakes but God loves me and all I have to do is go to him honestly and say that I am sorry. I ask for forgiveness and he does forgive because he loves. And so thats how I try and walk through the world every day. I try my best to love each and everyone I meet as I love myself. 

John 15:12-17

12"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. 17This I command you, to love one another.

A Thought: Does Your Love Blossom or Wither?

I will have to admit that I am terrible at water skiing. The last time I tried to water ski I couldn’t stay on my feet for longer than 3 seconds. Once I did get going crouched down but as soon as I stood up I fell over. I try and try but to no avail I am terrible at water skiing. Its very frustrating, I work on it everyday and I don’t know what the problem is. Some suggest that it is that I don’t own a pair of ski let alone have a boat or ever get out in the water. 

You can laugh it is meant to be funny, but that’s how I see so many people anymore. They are so frustrated that their lives are as full as they like. Try as they do the relationships that they try and maintain grow harsh and unfulfilling. Its like trying to grow a plant without dirt, let alone water and fertilizer. My first and foremost relationship that I work on is the one I have with God. Why? Because he teaches me how to love. Through loving God, listening to Jesus’s teaching on love and following his commandments I find my other relationships blossom beautifully. Loving is an easy thing to do but not always our first instinct. Loving the way that God wants us too is not always fair, and that can be difficult especially in this day and age. Forgiveness is love, it is rooted out of love. We are all human, we all make mistakes, some of which are very silly or stupid. I have never been forgiven and felt unloved. If you love someone and they make a mistake forgive them. If you don’t that pain will rest inside your heart and it will grow and take over. Before long the list of resentments will slowly overtake love in the garden of your heart and it will be rife with weeds of anger, resentment will start to blossom deceit. In and time when we are told things should be “even” and “fair” God wants us to forgive. Love and wash away the pain that someone brought you. You may feel shortchanged in the short-term  but it if you can truly forgive then you will be healthier in the long run. Let God’s love and ways be your center and you will see your life grow in ways you could have never imagined or you can hold on to anger and keep things fair. God loves you and wants you to be happy and he knows that will blossom out of love. My parents always told me that life is not fair and it is so true. You have to learn to let go though of the unfairness and love otherwise the weight of the resentment will hold you back. You will not grow. You will not be happy and if left unchecked  the root of your life, your heart, will die and wither like a plant taken from the soil of God, the sun of Jesus and the water of the Holy Spirit. God gives us free will. He lets you choose what you want. I ask you, what do you want?

John 15:4-10

4Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. 7If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples. 9As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 

A Thought: Know Who Loves You

Of all the things that I have endured over the years I have never known about anything terrible in advance. Sometimes I hear people talk about death like, “I would want to know how much time I have left so that I could make the best of it.” I sit and just think about being on the receiving end of that conversation. If I had someone truly dear to me come up to me and say, “Hey Michael I only have 4 months to live.” I would absolutely freak. I would probably smother them for the next 4 months so that I didn’t miss a thing. I couldn’t imagine someone telling me, “Hey in like so many months I am going to have people spit on me, beat me, mock me, drive nails in to my wrists and feet and kill me right in front of you.” I would at any rate want to make sure that I knew everything about my friend. I would want to make sure nothing was lost or taken for granted. I would hang on every word and I would probably ask for their lives story. I would want to make sure that person was never forgotten. I am sure that for his time Jesus was probably an unforgettable person. The type of person that just lights up a room. The person that everyone wants to know. He came and feed those in need, healed the sick and he even raised people from the dead. He preached to love, love, when in pain forgive and then love some more. Jesus chose Peter as the leader of his Church after he passed. He entrusted him and all of his other disciples to continue to reach out to others with his message. Having someone that is willing to die for you is a rather heavy thing. I barely can wrap my head around it until I think of my children. For my children I would do anything. I would die for my children. I would take any punishment I thought too much to bear for them. That is Jesus, he knew how to really love. Jesus being God as well came down to be with us for a while because he loves us. Its important to realize who Jesus is. He is the son of God. Its important to realize what he taught, to love God and each other all of the time no matter what. Its important to realize what he did. He allowed himself to surrender to the people of his time. They spit on him, beat him, mocked and killed him in a very bloody and horrific way. He endured all of this for you. You reading this and all the people that you see and those whom you will never even meet, all because of love.

Matthew 16:13-23

13Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesare'a Philip'pi, he asked his disciples, "Who do men say that the Son of man is?" 14And they said, "Some say John the Baptist, others say Eli'jah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." 15He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" 16Simon Peter replied, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." 17And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jona! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. 18And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it. 19I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." 20Then he strictly charged the disciples to tell no one that he was the Christ. 21From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 22And Peter took him and began to rebuke him, saying, "God forbid, Lord! This shall never happen to you." 23But he turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me; for you are not on the side of God, but of men."

A Thought: The Hidden Treasure

When I was a child I was REALLY into radio controlled cars. I wanted to collect them, race them and build them. It was really meaningful for me to be such a young age, be able to build something and then watch it go. The first one that my father got me was good but all the fun was taken out of it cause it was already put together and you couldn’t modify it at all. I worked and worked and saved up the money and bought my first one that I would have to build on my own. Also being a child I didn’t have a good sense of what was important. After several days of coming home finding me not having my chores done my father took away that car. He had it built by someone else and then it sat, for me to see everyday. After years and years I finally got that car and just recently I got it running. That first time around the yard I felt like I was 10 yrs old again. The joy and glee I felt was something special. As I have gotten older I have not only learned the importance of getting work done on time but also what is really important in life. I am very thankful that I have God in my life. He is there at every turn. When things are good, bad and in between he is there. He gave the most amazing gift ever when he sent his son down to earth. The lessons on how to love have changed my life. I feel whole and my life is much better off. I have learned how to forgive others and myself. The baggage that I used to walk around with is no longer there. I can see now the danger signs of bad decisions coming down the road. Do I always make the right ones? No, I am human and I am flawed and I have learned to admit my mistakes and ask for forgiveness from people I hurt and God. I now have the tools to teach my children so that hopefully they don’t make the same mistakes that I have. If they do, then they will know that they are not alone either. The gifts that God has given me are priceless and they are free. I think about my life before and what I had in comparison to now. I am so very grateful, I would have done anything to get where I am now. All I had to do though was to stop, pray, read, meditate and then repeat. I didn’t have to work and toil. I didn’t have to save up a ton of money. I would have done either to receive the peace and happiness that I now have, but I didn’t have to God already loved me and wanted to help me. He is waiting for you to, all you have to do is talk to him and ask him to come into your life. Read the stories of Jesus and his teachings, put them into practice and feel your life slowly change for the better. Its your choice, you can do whatever you want. This is what I chose and it is wonderful.

Matthew 13:44-46

44"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. 45"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, 46who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.