Hello I am Michael...

Hello my name is Michael. I want to talk about my new picture. I am a Catholic, a Christian, a sinner. I have made mistakes. I have been given free will and because I am flawed. I have sinned. If I have offended you I am sorry. If I am about to offend you I am sorry. I do not judge because after all as my favorite teacher Jesus has taught me, "he without sin cast the first stone".

Awhile ago the issue of Gay Marriage came on to my radar. Hmmm, I thought and that was about that. Again it came up, hmmm I went through my index card filer of a brain and went through points A to Z and at the end decided that I was not for Gay Marriage because of what I have been taught. I will not speak for others but for me when I think of Homosexuality I think of sex. Sex is in the name its self after all. Sex is also in the name Heterosexual. So I started to think. Marriage is not about sex it is about love. Gay Marriage is about loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. Maybe I should dig deeper.

At this point I thank you for reading considering my thoughts and hope you continue...

Hmmm, I didn't dig right aways but for some reason the issue of Gay Marriage kept coming up and some interesting things and ideas were being thrown around. I decided to start digging. I am against Gay Marriage because of my religion. I get to practice my religion because I live in America. Hmm...

See I don't have anything against people that are gay. I am not perfect. As I said before I do not believe in judging others because I have been taught that it is wrong and I believe that teaching true. Jesus did a lot to shake things up in the church. I have a big appreciation for that. So I decided to go into my brain pickup the idea of Gay Marriage and sit it in the middle of a big room in my head. Then I took my time and took a walk around. Long story short I am very thankful that I have my freedom to practice my religion. If someone does not agree with my religion fine. I DO NOT HATE THEM. I am taught to love, accept, and share what I know. I am NOT taught to hate. It makes me very sad when people disagree in this country now and someone is accused of hating. Hmmm... I don't hate I just disagree.

So even though I don't believe that Gay Marriage is right I believe that they should have the freedom to marry whom they choose. The fact that the government is involved in marriage is stupid. Were talking about grown people that can't even balance a checkbook. I believe that freedom is freedom and we should be free to do as we please. If we are not hurting each other or limiting each others rights then we should be left alone. And that's how I came to believe that Gay Marriage should be legal. I don't believe that my freedom to worship and I choose and believe what I believe should have the ability to limit someone else choice to love who they want to love and marry who they want to marry.

So my new profile picture... If you are still reading thank you for taking the time to consider what I am saying.

Because I have studied science and religion I believe that life begins at conception. If sperm didn't meet egg then there would be no me. 30 some years ago a sperm met an egg. A life began, my parents had a choice. Choices are not easy but it is freedom. Freedom isn't always easy. Ask any returning veteran from conflict. Freedom isn't always easy. None the less my parents had a choice. They had the freedom to choose. They did, and I am here.

I judge no one. I am taught to love because I am a Christian. I am taught to share. I know that things are not easy. Life is hard but it is also a blessing. I am thankful for everyday that I have. I now have the care of 3 children, God willing, soon 4. I will love them with all my heart. I will make mistakes but I will be a good father and teach them that even Dad's make mistakes and that the best thing to do is to ask for forgiveness. I will teach them to be strong, to love, to accept, and to share. I cannot imagine a day without any of my wonderful children. They teach me so much and I look forward to teaching them.

As I now feel that all people have the right to choose to marry whom ever they want I feel that everyone deserves a chance. Will all babies born live lives that I agree with? No, but they still deserve to live. I don't care what you believe about abortion. You have the right to think what ever you want. I just kindly ask that you consider what I think as I would of your ideas. I don't wish anyone damned to hell for what they choose. I pray that everyone has the opportunity to find love in life. To live free.

So I kindly ask that you consider the notion that everyone conceived has the right to live. That you would consider that everyone has the right to be born to be given the chance to make a difference. To get to grow up. To meet wonderful people, exchange ideas and help to make the world a better place, to have the opportunity to love to marry whoever they want.

If you don't... okay. I don't hate you. I disagree with you and that's all. I have already seen what joy and love my children have brought to the world. I cant wait to see what they will do in the future. You have been given the opportunity to make the world a better place because you are here. You have freedom. I kindly ask that you consider that every conceived child has the same.

So that's what my new profile pic stands for. I hope and pray that everyone conceived receives equal opportunity to live. I will do my best to help my fellow man woman and child along their way.

If you have actually managed to make it to the end of my note. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Angela's Story

Note to readers: 

This is a deviation from the thread I have been on. "Love and Inspiration" is something that I will be continuing, but this popped up so I ran with it. Hope you enjoy the change and will stay tuned for more posts.

Thank you, 

Michael

Angela’s Story

Angela woke with the mind but annoying buzzing sound echoing in the background. She pretty much expected this day to be just like every other. Wake up, go to work, make money, pay bills and move on. The morning routine was a ritual just like everything else in her life. She walked down the hall to the bathroom mission central for her day. All was dispensed with in good time. Teeth brushed and in the shower. Hair washed and body cleaned from head to toe in under ten minutes. I was the regularity of which she kept her world in check, on time and maintained. Angela wasn’t one for thrills. As far ash she was concerned they’re to many in life.  Thrill are disruptions, and the more there are the more things get off track. The more life is off track the harder it is to handle. 

Needless to say Angela wasn’t very girly. It was a term she hated only because that implied that she was manly which she wasn’t. She would keep her hair reasonable but no fashionable that it would demand more attention than she wanted to give it. She kept herself clean and tidy. Deodorant, but no lavish perfumes for her. She merely saw it as a waste of time and money. There were much more important things in life like staying on schedule. 

Just about everything in Angela’s life was rather regulated. Certain things were given certain amounts of time. Everything in her life also was delegated various levels of priority. So that if a certain task, say driving to the park to exercise, took too long and even absorbed the extra seven minutes allowed for the journey she would go else where. If the alternate task took too long as well she would move on to more important matters all together.

The one thing that did not change was her dedication to work. Nothing was more important than work. Everything in Angela’s life pivoted from work, and that's where she was headed this morning. Traffic as usual had foiled her attempt to get any kind of breakfast. She figured this was probably okay seeing drive through fast food left her wanting it two ways. Still hungry and to be in better shape on she continued.

It was seven a.m. when she finally arrived at work. This was acceptable because the clock in her car was nine minutes fast. That allowed her four minutes to get to her station so that she could clock in five minutes early that was allowed by management. The walk only took her two minutes, but this allowed two minutes to get situated, say hello to someone or find her name tag in case she misplaced it. 

“Hey, hey, hey...,” it was a really bad Fat Albert impression. It was Monday, it was Carl, Angela would have to be focused.

“Hey Carl watcha up to?”, Angela asked. She usually didn’t like to speak this way, but with Carl she had to. Carl could be a bit clingy. He could be funny on most given days. He didn’t like to leave anyone alone until he got a smile or laugh. Angela was not in a funny mood. She wold resort to chopped words, contractions, even slang to keep the conversation short. All so she could stay on track and on time. 

Grinning widely, “Well I’m just enjoying the view, smells ad tastes of this wonderful Monday morning,” Carl answered.  

“Yeah man take a deep breath and you’ll find today has a rather sweet after taste,” said Carl.

Carl had switched gears into a stoned out hippie impersonation.  Angela had no chance to think she just smiled. 

“All right I’ll have to try it later, see ya,” Angela replied smirking. 

“LIFES A BUFFET MAN, IT TIME TO EAT!”, Carl continued in stoner land.  

Arriving at her station it was time to clock in with a minute too spare.  She reached into her right front pocket, and her name tag was not there.  It was supposed to be, left pocket, no, back pockets still missing, then she remembered.  It was supposed to be a busy weekend for her so she left it in her cubbie at work figuring she wold be running late on Monday.  No, she could clock in and start work selling arts and craft supplies.  

Days at the store seemed to run together days into nights and nights into weeks and weeks into months. In total Angela had been working there for about ten years.  Aside from minor product changes and regular customers, nothing seemed to change.  It only took Angela about a year to memorize the store.  She was the “goto” gal if you needed something.  She could tell you where anything was in the store without looking or thinking.  She had everything down so well that sometimes she felt like she worked in a fish bowl.  The big widows in the front of the store didn’t  help either.  

“Excuse me miss,” asked  a random customer, “do you know where the birdhouse kits are?”

Angela started to move forward in the direction that they were in.  

“No, no that's all right you can just tell me,” said the customer. 

She had forgot that she ha her hands full of merchandise that show was stocking.  

“Ti is no trouble sir. My pleasure to help it’s my job after all,” replied Angela. It was store policy that all guests be walked to the merchandise that they were looking for. 

“Really its all right,” he replied with an awkward look on his face,  “I don’t need an escort”. 

“Turn around take a right. Go three isles then go left up two sections.  They will be on your fright.  For you about knee high.  Half way down the section,” Angela rattled. 

“Thanks!”, the customer replied. Without even making eye contact the gentleman whisked off in pursuit of his bird house.  

That would pretty much sum up Angela’s day.  Put items away, help guests, and maybe even help people checkout.  Then Help run a cash register and back again.  The only real stress Angela had at work was her own desire to get enough stock out on the shelves, dealing with unhappy guests, and count money correctly.  Finally it would be five o’clock and time to go home.  

Unfortunately this was Wednesday.  As she drove home a sinking feeling slowly crept over her.  She tried to invent excuses for a place to stop none existed.  As she got closer to home her stomach began to turn.  Her fingers began to dance on the steering wheel.  Her breaths became long and more pronounced.  Wednesday, why did it have to be Wednesday?  

“Okay, okay,” she said aloud, “it’ll be fine.  Just a quick stop and up I go.”  She pulled into the her apartment building’s parking lot and parked her car.  There wasn’t designated spots, but the one she usually used was open.  Letting out a big sigh she sat for a moment it was still a beautiful day out.  

“How could anything go wrong today?”, Angela said out loud?  Soon she wold find out.  

Walking down the sidewalk her heart began to beat harder and harder.  It seemed like her steps were in sync with the cadence of her walk.  Boom, boom, boom sweat began to form on her brow.  She opened the front door to her building.  

“Damn Wednesdays!”, she whispered again slowly she raised her key and put it in and slowly opened her mailbox.  The creaking noise reminded her of the dumpster door at work and the sound of the old doors opening in horror movies.  

“Damn Wednesdays!”, Angela whispered again.

Her mailbox was so crammed full of mail that she could barely tell what was what.  Quickly she grabbed the mail slammed the door and locked it shut.  At once she sped upstairs closed her apartment door behind her and locked it.  With a large sigh she looked at the wad of mail in her hand.  She didn’t really want to go through her mail.  She had remanded this task to Wednesdays.  It was Wednesday so she had to do it. 

“Bill, bill, junk, junk, junk, bill, junk, junk...,” Angela muttering through her head as she scanned her mail.

“The end, whew, thank goodness,” said Angela. A sigh of relief came over her.  She started opening the bills.  No  large surprises were found. Nothing she couldn’t handle right now. She took the rest to the trash can.  

There wasn’t going to be much fun tonight.  Tonight was a work night so no running around and acting stupid.  Angela went into her modest kitchen and opened the fridge. 

“Ah, the usual suspects,” sighed Angela.  In her view was some condiments, a few vegetables lying around, though they were quickly reaching their past due date.  However after a day like today Angela found what she wanted, a nice cold beer.  Nothing was more relaxing than sitting down on her futon and having a cold one.  She didn’t care if some people thought it wasn’t lady like.  She really didn’t care what anyone thought.  A nice cold beer was great to take the edge off a stressful mail day. She proceeded to sit down. Angela had tried cable long ago but didn’t care for it.  Angela passed her time sitting on the couch watching one of the selections out of her ever expanding DVD collection.  

Thirty minutes passed, and her beer was done it was time for another.  Her movie was nearly over it was the lull before the climax in her romantic comedy.  She quickly got up and got another beer so she wouldn’t have to hit pause.  She continued to watch her movie and found security in its predicable boring of a story.  To Angela all such films were the same but the jokes were different.  That’s why she would continue to watch time.  The movie was over, time for another beer.  She wasn’t feeling tired in the slightest so she decided to put on one of her favorite drama TV shows.  She had a few of those as well and she nearly had all of these memorized as well.  

Six beers gone and she was still wide awake.  For some reason she was having trouble falling asleep.  

“Its time for  the big guns I guess,” thought Angela. 

She went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of vodka from the freezer.  She poured three shots into the bottom of a glass with ice. Then poured some diet cola on top till it got an inch from the top of the glass.  She settled into her button.  Watched another episode and finally stared to get tired.  When the show concluded she stretched out on the futon and went to sleep.  Lights out, night over, and ready to start a new day.  

The annoying buzz returned the familiar tone pulled Angela from her futon in good time.  Off again she into her routine.  Driving to work her mind was on nothing but work.  However not all of her as exactly in the same spot.

“What are you doing?”, a male voice exclaimed in her head?  It was a vivid flashback of her father.  All of a sudden she could see him like she was thirteen all over again.  She had been asked to tend to the lawn.

“What were you thinking?”, her fathers words rung so loud and angry in her head? Over and over again she could see the grass she had mistakenly missed.  It was an honest mistake her concentration must have drifted while she was mowing the yard.  She could vividly see the disapproval in her fathers eyes.  The scowl on his forehead left a deep crease between his eyebrows. Angela had the same mark on her face.  

“No, no, no, shut up!”, she yelled out loud, and d at once the vision and the words were gone.  Al that was left was the mumble of the radio and the traffic outside her car.  

Love and Insperation pt.2

Love and Insperation pt 2     

No is an amazing word. I have been very fortunate to conceive and bring two boys into this world.  It seems as thought that they appear from nothing.  In a blink of an eye their facial expressions show that they recognize their parents.  The next thing you know they are babbling then crawling and trying to do things that everyone else is doing.  Especially if they have siblings.  If their big brother or sister is doing something they want to be doing it as we.  Before I knew it my baby boy was trying to get into things he wasn’t supposed to  The good, mild mannered easy to deal with baby had soon grown into a curious and mischievous toddler.  I will never forget the first time I had to tell one of my children “no”. It can be very cute.  My youngest now, Theodore, pulled out all the stops.  At first he just had this smiling wide eyed look on his face.  He had found the receiver cord on the LAN line phone.  

“No,” this time I said it more firm.  A boggled looking came over his face.  He paused, looked at the cord then at me and pulled again.  

“No,” I was trying very hard not to smile because I knew what was coming.  I didn’t put on a scowling face but one that was merely sincere.  He looked at the cord, then my and and then my face.  

“No honey, no no” all of a sudden his eyes watered up and his little bottom lip popped out.  Again he tugged at the cord.

“No no honey ouchie”, I replied.  Without even looking at me all his baby raged poured out. He began crying and sobbing.  The idea that he could not have what he wanted was the end of the world.  I picked him up to console him and let him know that the world was not actually coming to an end.  After about one minute and leaving a wet spot ton my shoulder the size of Lake Michigan he calmed down. I set him down and he eyed the forbidden cord. He started to reach for it. 

“ No no”, I told him.  He looked at me bottom lip stuck out a smidge, then he turned and crawled away.  No doubt to look for something that he just had to have out of my sight (so he thought) so that I could not stop him. 

No is a very powerful word. Unfortunately no other though like with so many things in life it can be easily overused.  Just like spices with cooking sometimes a little bit can go a long way.  I remember ties when I was a college student.  I would be living on my own for one of the first times in my life.  Maybe I was a little homesick or maybe I just wanted to prove to myself that I was all grown up.  Probably it was a little bit of both but I decided to make on of my mothers entree’s.  It wold be one of my favorites so I knew exactly how it was supposed to taste.  Now my mother was wise enough and kind enough to show me a few things before I moved out of the house.  She taught me how to cook clean and do my own laundry.  SI knew how to make some of my favorite dishes. I went to the store and bought al the appropriate ingredients. I went home and did everything  as I was supposed to and the dish came out to perfection.  Just as I remembered it to be.  It was almost as if I was back home when my eyes were closed. However I can easily recall a time or two that I decided to “experiment,” and well lets just say those meals were less than wonderful.  I can recall a time that I got rather liberal with my use of salt.  After my first bite ,I, for some reason needed to chug nearly a gallon of water immediately.  That is how I learned though. Start with a principle that is known to work, experiment with caution , and dial things back if I start to go to far. 

I have found that parenting is much the same way.  My blue print is my parents.  Whenever I hit new territory with my children I refer to what my parents did in a similar situation with me.  Then depending on the situation I tweak what I do to appropriately adjust to the situation at hand.  I  am in such great awe of the power that parents have.  It is my belief that if you truly want to change the world then have children.  People have moved this world in such dramatic ways.  People and their habits and attitudes also can do a wonderful job of maintaining a status quo.  Children are the future of any society and how we choose to raise them will have a dramatic influence. Now mind you that I do not believe that everything bad or good is because of a parents direct involvement.  However it can have a lot to do with a path that a child takes.  The trouble is that children are not robots.  If al children were the same then a universal formula could be developed for raising them and we could have a utopian society in a few generations.  Just like with cooking there are so many variables.  You could use the right spice at the right amount  but the brand of spice can have an affect.  Everything from the water to cooking utensils, type of stove or oven used can have an effect on the final product.  It is very interesting to me how one child can act a certain way with on grown adult the act completely the opposite around someone else.  That is why “no,” is such a tricky word to use.  While it can serve as a great warning, used too much it can stunt the spirit.  

Being a parent is a wonderful thing. It is not for everyone, but I feel very lucky that I have had the opportunity to experience it.  Parenthood has opened up a world and give me a perspective that has radically changed me for the better.  I guess part of me somewhere deep down in my gut knew that I could be a parent but I went through a large period of my life feeling the opposite.  When I took my first few steps everything was so foreign, then slowly things became more familiar.  As my children began to get older two things happened.  The first was that I began to remember  parts of my childhood long gone and forgotten.  The second was that I slowly found myself morphing into my parents.  I started saying and doing thing that my parents once did.  On the one hand it was very reassuring.  I feel that I have been very lucky growing up when, where, and with whom I did. On the other hand I was frightened.  I love my children very much.  I once told my stepson that if I had to I would cut out my own heart to keep him alive without hesitation.  As lucky as I was though there were mistakes in my past that I had made.  I did not want my children to make the same mistakes.  I had also lived with a certain amount of pain and anguish, something I didn’t want them to experience either.  So in an effort to try and give my children a life I did not have I decided to go digging. The deeper I dug the more I learned.  I got to some depths that were rather sad and I stirred up thin inside me that were not fun at all.  Though once I dealt with my past and its demons.  I found a great deal of knowledge.  It is with this knowledge I feel I can better help my children and have a life better than I have had.  Hopefully it will not end with them either.  I hope that they will pass these lessons on and improve with them for generations to come.  

Freedom is a wonderful thing.  As an artist I revel in the fact that my creations are only held back by the limits of my own mind. ANything is truly possible in ones own mind.  Sometimes I look at infants with a bit of awe and a little bit of jealousy.  While physically they are encumbered and rely on their guardians for so much their minds are completely free.  They know nothing and being a clean slate perspectives they have about life, I think, must be truly amazing.  I find it interesting when someone is transplanted into a new culture.  What’s especially interesting is when they feel that they have the freedom to openly comment about it.  As adults we are required to be polite and politically correct.  Its quite refreshing to hear a child’s point of view.  Many of the things that they jump out at them can be so taken for granted that they are over looked by adults.  I have seen many a child whose curiosity hold no bounds.  Many trot off on a  daily adventure to explore their world.  I have always found delight wen I catch one of my boys mesmerized digging in a bucket of bolts exploring all the cracks and crannies at the bottom of a tree trunk.  

I try  to give my children as much freedom as possible.  Now I write this with a smirk on my face because it has led to some interesting scenarios.  A lot of my childhood was highly regulated.  I understand that my parents love me very much.  That in combination with the fact that I was there one and only meant that I had their complete and undivided attention.  I got away with nothing. Well, okay, I got away with something , but not very much at all.  With my children I keep a close mindful eye and only intervene when absolutely necessary.  I am sure that they’re are some of you out there that wonder if  my house runs amuck.  I can assure you that it doesn’t, and if you would ask my boys about my parenting style they would say that I have my days when I am a tyrant.  

The idea though is to let them have the freedom to learn and make their own mistakes  It seems like now in certain parts of our culture it is bad to make a mistake. Yes, if you fall to peer pressure and decide to sneak out after curfew and drink alcohol that is a mistake and bd.  Just so long as the guardian has done their job teaching so is wrong.  However deciding not to study hard for a Social Studies test is a mistake is not bad.  Making that study style of lack there of a habit is bad.  Mistakes are important because they have to be made and mostly importantly they need to be learned from.  

Imagine being frozen, unable to move.  Then you get an itch on the end of your nose but you cant move.  I rarely get frozen but I have gotten that itching sensation.  It usually happens when I have three bags of groceries in one hand and the baby in the baby seat in the other hand I am standing in mud  waiting for my wife to pull up with the fan so I cant move. All I can do is patiently wait.  I fear that there are too many of us that feel like they are in a similar situation.  Only instead of having real obstacles they are ones festering in the mind.  I myself was so scared of making a mistake or being wrong that I would not make decisions at all.  If I did manage to make a decision many times I would hide it in fear of being wrong.  It was so crippling and so unnecessary.  As an artist it was very problematic.  Everything in art is subjective.  There is no wrong or right way , but when you are locked into mentality of needing approval, needing to be told you are right , it is agonizing.  There are some thins so tortuous in life that I would never wish them on anyone. Self doubt, lack of confidence, and low self esteem are  three things I would wish on no one.  

When did it all begin for me?  I don’t know, it wasn’t as if I was fine on day and then had a tragic incident that changed my outlook.  More than likely it was probably a slow change that occurred over time. Not that it really needs to be said but confidence is key in life, its almost as valuable as the air we breath.  If you really want to boost someone’s confidence then show them some love.  I am sure that some of you right now have visions of hippies and Hare Krishna dancing around tossing flower petals in the air.  Thats not exactly what I had in mind but the sight would probably bring a smile to many a person’s face if seen out of the blue.  With a smile ones happiness which can relive stress so if that’s your thing than by all means have fun.  What I am speaking about though is caring for someone.  As I spoke before the easiest way to spread some love around is to smile, look people in the eye and say hello.

As much as I am though for random acts of kindness, the easiest place to start is at home.  I have found with experience That if I go about my day looking my children in the eye a smiling and speaking in a loving tone will make the day great.  When I look them in the eye and smile it most likely turns their face into a mirror.  I see a smile shot right back at me.  My four year old is probably the most famous for this.  I will see him walking  in the house headed toward his next mission.  I will intentionally lock eyes with him and smile just as big as I can.  Immediately it seems as if he starts to radiate.  I know that when he is smiling and in a good mood he is ready to take on a challenge.  He can do anything or at least he thinks so.  It seems like a natural reaction  When I have confidence in what I am doing I just go.  There is no second guessing.  Even if I am doing something for the first time.  If I believe I can succeed I usually do, and if I don’t I will not stop untill I do.  Children get their confidence from their parents.  If I tell my children that I believe in them, that they can do something, its like giving them a pair of wings.  I can recall one day that I had not too long ago.  It wasn’t terrible, it was just trying.  Nothing was going wrong it just wasn’t going as planned.  At one point I walked into the toy room and it was trashed.  There was no doubt my four year old Walter had some fun in there.  It was going to be time to leave in a while and this was a big mess.  I called Walter in and told him to pick up the room. I walked past about fifteen to twenty minutes later and saw no real visible difference. Now this was disappointing because both Walter and I know how good Walter is at picking up.

“What are you doing in here Walter? Come on lets go. Get this room picked up.”, I said

For a brief moment I felt a little bad.  Walter if four, but he also knows to follow directions about fifteen minute after that I passed by and Walter looked at me with his, “Uh oh,” look on his face.  The room was immaculate. It was as if hurricane Walter ad never passed through.  I was in complete shock and how quickly he go the room that clean. 

“Wow!”, I exclaimed, “This is amazing. Great job Walter!”

Immediately his “Uh oh” face melted away and a smile grew from ear to ear.

Love and Insperation

Probably one of the worst toxins on the face of the planet is self doubt.  It can take a perfectly functioning adult and cripple them to the point where they refuse to make a decision.  Sometimes one dose is enough to debilitate a person.  Other times it takes small doses over a lifetime.  Personally I think that going through life “not knowing’ is terrible.  Its like taking a test that holds a lot of weight and realizing that you don’t know the answers.

The antidote to self doubt is love.  There is a saying, “Love conquers all”. Not sure where this came from or who said it.  Its doesn’t matter its true.  Loving someone isn’t just saying the words, it’s a great start though. Sometimes that is what is needed.  Others though it’s a hand on the shoulder, the unexpected card or note or a smile with the included eye lock.  We all have had times when were down just feeling like we are stuck in the muck.  No matter what we do just seems to be wrong.  Perhaps we just wait it out.  Maybe wake up and its over. We have that much needed cup of coffee.  If we are blessed though we meet someone. It maybe a person we have known for years. There is a chance it is a person we have known for three-seconds. No matter what the occasion that person arrives. They do that “thing,” perhaps the muck doesn’t melt away.  Tit may just become manageable.  With what they do we become inspired, infused with the belief that we can overcome.  We get that infusion of love. 

People don’t need love to survive.  People can’t really “live” without love.  If you think about the positive things that happened to you in your life you will find love.  Perhaps you can find peace in something that doesn’t involve people.  You may be thinking that, “I find peace in ‘X,” and that doesn’t involve people.  I have a passion for writing, specifically music. That doesn’t involve people. Not necessarily, I can write and record a piece and never have one single person hear it. I’m okay with that. Why do I write music though? I have always been a rather creative person.  For the longest time I was only interested in visual media like sculpting, drawing, painting, and the such.  Then one summer I met a girl. It’s funny how for guys so many times it is about a girl. Of the many things that she wonderfully was, she was a writer. Because of her an interest in writing arose.  Started writing poetry for a short while.  It didn’t take long before I began to have an interest in writing songs.  A relationship that didn’t even last one week changed my life forever quite profoundly. 

I am not trying to embolden anyone on some sort of quest to try and look for a muse.  On the contrary I am saying that every day each interaction we have  wonderful possibilities.  Are bad days in short supply?  No, everyday the real life tale of duress plagues us everywhere at every turn.  It is your opportunity each and everyday to put confidence back in this world.  A prime opportunity to make the world a better place.  The more we respect, the more we trust, and the more we push love into the world the better it can become.  

If you find this text and are in wonderful place I am happy for you. I am truly happy for you.  There are so  many challenges in this world.  At every turn someone or some force seems to be challenging our peace.  To give in is easy.  Short of winning the lottery has anyone you known of come accost easy access to happiness. If you have I would tell you to watch closely.  Such things don’t seem to last long in life.  Peel back the layers and I am sure that you will find hard work and determination to achieve true peace and happiness.  

I have always had a rule.  One that I try and live by quite strictly.  If someone would have asked me  for help, and I have the ability to give it I do.  I have a few moments in my life when I have had strangers approach me and ask for money.  This is always the most awkward situation.  In these times when everyone is suspect of everyone else.  It seems we are told to trust no one.  I try though even when sometimes I am suspicious. I try and help someone who sys that they are in need.  

I like so many of us out there have been in a pinch from time to time.  I remember one scenario when I was a very poor working college student.  I had a very modest car.  It was a three cylinder Geo Metro.  As small of a car that it was, it was really dependable.  I remember on day coming out of a store to go home or to work and found that I had left my lights on.  My heart sank. This was before the days when everyone had cell phones.  I didn’t have the money for a pay-phone, and my car would not start.  I had no idea what to do.  It would have been a couple mile walk to get help on a day with bad weather.  Just about that same time a woman came walking out to her car.  I humbly and politely asked for assistance.  She paused, and said no.  She feared that jump-starting my car would ruin her battery. It hurt, but I hold no ill feelings toward her.  It’s a bit demanding and to get upset when strangers refuse to help in this day and age is in my opinion wrong. 

A few moments like that in my life have made me realize you will never know what side of the situation you will be on. I was raised in a christian home.  Nearly every Sunday I remember going to church. Wen I was younger I remember the tales of good verses evil.  Right triumphing over wrong.  Most importantly though I remember love. Stories of love and how it is the great equalizer.  Saying yes when it is so easy to say no.  Welcoming someone when you see that lost look in their eyes.  Forgiving when someone feels like they are the most unforgivable person on God’s green earth.  

I have had many teachers.  Most did not carry the title but held the position well.  They reinforced the value to love others as you wished to be loved.  I know all too well what its like to feel desperate.  How ashamed one can feel to have to ask strangers for help.  I know how  humiliated, and unloved someone many feel if they were then turned away.  

I have been bad with money in the past. My mother so lovingly warned me how money seemed to burn a hole in my pocket. A way that I rectified my shortcoming was to not carry money.  The less I cared the less I spent.  This has worked so well for me that most times I have no cash on hand at all. Not even change in my pocket would I carry. Just a checkbook and a debit card can get me most all what I need.  I remember one of my days from more humble times. I was young in my early twenties living okay getting by. I had an apartment but no washer or drier. Because I never carried money it was always a pain to do laundry.  I would have to get cash then quarters to do my laundry at the local laundry mat.  For sure this was such a hassle, honestly I probably did laundry once or twice a month  This one particular time though I must have waited a bit longer than usual.  I was just about to finish and realized that I had one more load to dr.  Yes I was out of quarters. Begrudgingly I pulled another bill out of my pocket but the smallest I had left was a ten dollar bill.  Well, I got that last load done and had the pleasure of walking around the rest of the day with nine dollars and twenty-five cents  of quarters swinging around in my pants pocket.  

That evening I was out with my friends. For some reason the change was still in my pocket.  I don’t know why it was, it was so cumbersome I would have thought that I would have taken it out and saved it for the next time. I ever carried cash let alone that much change swinging around in my pocket.  We, my friend and I, were walking from our favorite pub. It had been a fun night but not too fun. Wits still intact we were heading home.  Now its peculiar to me but downtown you never saw homeless people. You would never see any panhandlers. Nonetheless that evening a man in need crossed my friend and I.  He asked if we had any spare change.  I looked at my friend and I and I cant quite remember what he did. When he looked at me though I put my hand in my pocket and I was surprised that the change was still there. I knew I really didn’t need it.  The guy had this weird look on his face. Probably because my and was swimming around in my pocket a lot fishing together all that change. I wish I could have had a picture of the look on his face though when I dropped nine dollars and twenty-five cents of spare change into his hands. 

I remember on other time me and my then fiance’ were coming out of the local Denny’s. Just as we were getting ready to start the car two women pulled up in theirs.  Quickly they asked if we had any spare cash. They were trying to get somewhere and were short on gas money.  I put my hand in my pocket and for some strange reason I had a crumpled up five dollar bill on me. I did not hesitate. I gave it to them.  Each time this happens I hear the usual comment. “How do you know that they really needed it, or what do you think they are going to use it for?” Valid questions to ask I suppose but after a firefighter runs into a burning building and saves someone does he ask how they are going to live their life from that point on?

I can tell you that when I was saved from being burnt alive in my slumber no such question was asked. I was thankful and embarrassed ever. Did I make mistakes with my life after that point? Yes, but it’s not our job to judge one another.  It’s our duty to care and love one another.  It wasn’t my negligence that started the fire. My upstairs neighbor and good friend left a lamp on. Whether it was the electrical socket that shorted and started the fire or the lamp falling over into some papers I don’t know. I don’t care either.  Our people lost their homes that day. Four lives radically changed in a snap.  And just as I didn’t pause to accept my friends apology for what he may or may not have inadvertently caused my landlord did not pause to give us tenants our security deposits back no questions asked because we were in a time of need. 

A movie somewhat base on the same principle “Pay It Forward” was barely popular in the nineties. A young man starts a champaign to spread help to strangers. It has its ups and downs even after a slow start the movement picks up pace with each person “paying forward” a kind gesture to someone in need.  The idea here though is to not just hand out one or two random acts of kindness but to be on the look out to do so everyday.  

This good will, love, rather support can change much. By one rock at a time one could truly move mountains.  At Christmas time as children we look forward to opening shiny presents. Our minds and mouths water in anticipation of what we may receive Some of us as we get older find more joy in giving that receiving.  We sit on  the edge of our seats just waiting for the look on our loved ones face. Hoping for that look of joy. Ecstatic for a moment to see dumbfounded look of joy on the faces of the ones that we love happy with what they have just received. 

I don’t tend that every day can be Christmas Day for someone. It could be for you or me, a brother, a sister, grandmother, or the stranger sitting accost from you. That is the gift of love. That someone cares for you and cares about you.  That feeling is the antidote to self doubt, and with the elimination of self doubt makes anything possible. You want to make this world a better place?  Preform random acts of kindness.  Not for fame or recognition, but to help your neighbor the person closest in your proximity right now. That is how true lasting change is made.  Just like a mountain can be moved one rock at a time so can the world be changed one person at a time.