A Poem: In Search of...

"In Search of..."

My mind denies my wishes

My body is not far behind

The weight of the waiting is pulling me under

Don't, wait, you'll fail is the call

The words echoes down the hall

My feet drag and my mind wanders

And the light that leads begins to dim

Where and how I do not know

I want out the box its shrinking

Less and less I can do

Mocking me the bad decisions of past

The chuckling makes my skin crawl

A cold hard breeze rakes my skin

The hairs of my body stands on end

Deaths bones rattle in the background

Where am I?

Where am I going?

What do I need to do?

Fearing death I look over my back

No longer no can I see the light before me

My gut begins to turn

Rising up my throat the chunky sickness boils

I collapse and my knees crush to the ground

Skinned and bruised my blood trickles on the ground

As is pools out of me so does my hope

My head sinks and my hands run through my hair

Gripping tightly I want it all out

My hair, my thoughts, my pain

Slowly desperation pulls my head back

Waiting for the blade to cut I weep 

Tears roll out and I start to rise

"Please", is all I can say

Please

Please

Please

And slowly it comes

The idea 

The thought

Away are the grey clouds cast

Again the sun begins to shine

It not mine 

I don't own it

But take the gift

And begin 

Marching again