Probably one of the worst toxins on the face of the planet is self doubt. It can take a perfectly functioning adult and cripple them to the point where they refuse to make a decision. Sometimes one dose is enough to debilitate a person. Other times it takes small doses over a lifetime. Personally I think that going through life “not knowing’ is terrible. Its like taking a test that holds a lot of weight and realizing that you don’t know the answers.
The antidote to self doubt is love. There is a saying, “Love conquers all”. Not sure where this came from or who said it. Its doesn’t matter its true. Loving someone isn’t just saying the words, it’s a great start though. Sometimes that is what is needed. Others though it’s a hand on the shoulder, the unexpected card or note or a smile with the included eye lock. We all have had times when were down just feeling like we are stuck in the muck. No matter what we do just seems to be wrong. Perhaps we just wait it out. Maybe wake up and its over. We have that much needed cup of coffee. If we are blessed though we meet someone. It maybe a person we have known for years. There is a chance it is a person we have known for three-seconds. No matter what the occasion that person arrives. They do that “thing,” perhaps the muck doesn’t melt away. Tit may just become manageable. With what they do we become inspired, infused with the belief that we can overcome. We get that infusion of love.
People don’t need love to survive. People can’t really “live” without love. If you think about the positive things that happened to you in your life you will find love. Perhaps you can find peace in something that doesn’t involve people. You may be thinking that, “I find peace in ‘X,” and that doesn’t involve people. I have a passion for writing, specifically music. That doesn’t involve people. Not necessarily, I can write and record a piece and never have one single person hear it. I’m okay with that. Why do I write music though? I have always been a rather creative person. For the longest time I was only interested in visual media like sculpting, drawing, painting, and the such. Then one summer I met a girl. It’s funny how for guys so many times it is about a girl. Of the many things that she wonderfully was, she was a writer. Because of her an interest in writing arose. Started writing poetry for a short while. It didn’t take long before I began to have an interest in writing songs. A relationship that didn’t even last one week changed my life forever quite profoundly.
I am not trying to embolden anyone on some sort of quest to try and look for a muse. On the contrary I am saying that every day each interaction we have wonderful possibilities. Are bad days in short supply? No, everyday the real life tale of duress plagues us everywhere at every turn. It is your opportunity each and everyday to put confidence back in this world. A prime opportunity to make the world a better place. The more we respect, the more we trust, and the more we push love into the world the better it can become.
If you find this text and are in wonderful place I am happy for you. I am truly happy for you. There are so many challenges in this world. At every turn someone or some force seems to be challenging our peace. To give in is easy. Short of winning the lottery has anyone you known of come accost easy access to happiness. If you have I would tell you to watch closely. Such things don’t seem to last long in life. Peel back the layers and I am sure that you will find hard work and determination to achieve true peace and happiness.
I have always had a rule. One that I try and live by quite strictly. If someone would have asked me for help, and I have the ability to give it I do. I have a few moments in my life when I have had strangers approach me and ask for money. This is always the most awkward situation. In these times when everyone is suspect of everyone else. It seems we are told to trust no one. I try though even when sometimes I am suspicious. I try and help someone who sys that they are in need.
I like so many of us out there have been in a pinch from time to time. I remember one scenario when I was a very poor working college student. I had a very modest car. It was a three cylinder Geo Metro. As small of a car that it was, it was really dependable. I remember on day coming out of a store to go home or to work and found that I had left my lights on. My heart sank. This was before the days when everyone had cell phones. I didn’t have the money for a pay-phone, and my car would not start. I had no idea what to do. It would have been a couple mile walk to get help on a day with bad weather. Just about that same time a woman came walking out to her car. I humbly and politely asked for assistance. She paused, and said no. She feared that jump-starting my car would ruin her battery. It hurt, but I hold no ill feelings toward her. It’s a bit demanding and to get upset when strangers refuse to help in this day and age is in my opinion wrong.
A few moments like that in my life have made me realize you will never know what side of the situation you will be on. I was raised in a christian home. Nearly every Sunday I remember going to church. Wen I was younger I remember the tales of good verses evil. Right triumphing over wrong. Most importantly though I remember love. Stories of love and how it is the great equalizer. Saying yes when it is so easy to say no. Welcoming someone when you see that lost look in their eyes. Forgiving when someone feels like they are the most unforgivable person on God’s green earth.
I have had many teachers. Most did not carry the title but held the position well. They reinforced the value to love others as you wished to be loved. I know all too well what its like to feel desperate. How ashamed one can feel to have to ask strangers for help. I know how humiliated, and unloved someone many feel if they were then turned away.
I have been bad with money in the past. My mother so lovingly warned me how money seemed to burn a hole in my pocket. A way that I rectified my shortcoming was to not carry money. The less I cared the less I spent. This has worked so well for me that most times I have no cash on hand at all. Not even change in my pocket would I carry. Just a checkbook and a debit card can get me most all what I need. I remember one of my days from more humble times. I was young in my early twenties living okay getting by. I had an apartment but no washer or drier. Because I never carried money it was always a pain to do laundry. I would have to get cash then quarters to do my laundry at the local laundry mat. For sure this was such a hassle, honestly I probably did laundry once or twice a month This one particular time though I must have waited a bit longer than usual. I was just about to finish and realized that I had one more load to dr. Yes I was out of quarters. Begrudgingly I pulled another bill out of my pocket but the smallest I had left was a ten dollar bill. Well, I got that last load done and had the pleasure of walking around the rest of the day with nine dollars and twenty-five cents of quarters swinging around in my pants pocket.
That evening I was out with my friends. For some reason the change was still in my pocket. I don’t know why it was, it was so cumbersome I would have thought that I would have taken it out and saved it for the next time. I ever carried cash let alone that much change swinging around in my pocket. We, my friend and I, were walking from our favorite pub. It had been a fun night but not too fun. Wits still intact we were heading home. Now its peculiar to me but downtown you never saw homeless people. You would never see any panhandlers. Nonetheless that evening a man in need crossed my friend and I. He asked if we had any spare change. I looked at my friend and I and I cant quite remember what he did. When he looked at me though I put my hand in my pocket and I was surprised that the change was still there. I knew I really didn’t need it. The guy had this weird look on his face. Probably because my and was swimming around in my pocket a lot fishing together all that change. I wish I could have had a picture of the look on his face though when I dropped nine dollars and twenty-five cents of spare change into his hands.
I remember on other time me and my then fiance’ were coming out of the local Denny’s. Just as we were getting ready to start the car two women pulled up in theirs. Quickly they asked if we had any spare cash. They were trying to get somewhere and were short on gas money. I put my hand in my pocket and for some strange reason I had a crumpled up five dollar bill on me. I did not hesitate. I gave it to them. Each time this happens I hear the usual comment. “How do you know that they really needed it, or what do you think they are going to use it for?” Valid questions to ask I suppose but after a firefighter runs into a burning building and saves someone does he ask how they are going to live their life from that point on?
I can tell you that when I was saved from being burnt alive in my slumber no such question was asked. I was thankful and embarrassed ever. Did I make mistakes with my life after that point? Yes, but it’s not our job to judge one another. It’s our duty to care and love one another. It wasn’t my negligence that started the fire. My upstairs neighbor and good friend left a lamp on. Whether it was the electrical socket that shorted and started the fire or the lamp falling over into some papers I don’t know. I don’t care either. Our people lost their homes that day. Four lives radically changed in a snap. And just as I didn’t pause to accept my friends apology for what he may or may not have inadvertently caused my landlord did not pause to give us tenants our security deposits back no questions asked because we were in a time of need.
A movie somewhat base on the same principle “Pay It Forward” was barely popular in the nineties. A young man starts a champaign to spread help to strangers. It has its ups and downs even after a slow start the movement picks up pace with each person “paying forward” a kind gesture to someone in need. The idea here though is to not just hand out one or two random acts of kindness but to be on the look out to do so everyday.
This good will, love, rather support can change much. By one rock at a time one could truly move mountains. At Christmas time as children we look forward to opening shiny presents. Our minds and mouths water in anticipation of what we may receive Some of us as we get older find more joy in giving that receiving. We sit on the edge of our seats just waiting for the look on our loved ones face. Hoping for that look of joy. Ecstatic for a moment to see dumbfounded look of joy on the faces of the ones that we love happy with what they have just received.
I don’t tend that every day can be Christmas Day for someone. It could be for you or me, a brother, a sister, grandmother, or the stranger sitting accost from you. That is the gift of love. That someone cares for you and cares about you. That feeling is the antidote to self doubt, and with the elimination of self doubt makes anything possible. You want to make this world a better place? Preform random acts of kindness. Not for fame or recognition, but to help your neighbor the person closest in your proximity right now. That is how true lasting change is made. Just like a mountain can be moved one rock at a time so can the world be changed one person at a time.
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