A Thought: Being Scared

Not that long ago I was scared to death of being scared. Its a really paralyzing thing. Being afraid of getting scared sounds ridiculous but it is an example of how paranoia can really set in. Fear can be like a snowball, small and nothing much, but roll it around in the snow a bit and you can have a real snow boulder on your hands. I have come a long way and the road was winding and long, but I have gotten to the point where I do not fear like I once did. My faith has helped me with that so much .

I know that one day my children will leave me and it will be very heart-breaking. I love them so much I love sharing life with them. I love them so much that I want to keep them safe at all times. I lecture them sternly on what to be careful of though I am sure that if you asked my children they would tell you that I am just controlling and unreasonable. (and I laugh to myself)

I thought much of my parents too. I had a ton of faith that nothing would happen to me because I was young and invincible. I had faith that I would be protected I would be kept out of harm’s way. As I got older and learned more about the world I learned what was possible. What could happen to me at any moment in any combination of ways. After being hurt and hurt very hard several times I began to regress and fear what was around every corner. 

I came through it all rather well. The bottom of that hole where it was the darkest I have ever seen is when I looked up and saw light. First I whispered, then spoke and eventually yelled for help. It took some time and things did get better. The day that things really turned around is the day I literally got down on my knees and prayed, and prayed hard. I know for non-believers that this may seem foolish or stupid. I can’t explain it myself but that act of getting down on my knees and asking for help, not for myself as I recall, but for someone else truly changed something. 

I am nobody, I am a flawed man that with God’s help makes it through this life. There are some real twists and turns but I know that God is with me and will help me every step of the way. God sent his son Jesus and I am thankful. I really like to read the Gospels in the New Testament. If you read nothing else I encourage you to take some time and read these. They are an easy read with the (EVS) version and speak volumes. Jesus’s ministry didn’t really last that long but it has had an effect on this world and so many people. The theme of love, how to love and to what length is so weighty. You may read the lines and they may seem simple. They did to me, and then I had some faith and started practicing them. Day by day step by step things got better. I thought it may be a fluke but like I said I am a flawed man. I am a sinner and I have gone through periods in my life where I have gotten off the path and thats when my life usually starts going bad. Soon as I start reflecting, reading and practicing the words of Jesus though things start to get better. 

Is my life perfect? No, but I have a guide to help deal with life and it’s twists and turns. There is evil in the world. There is disaster and with the love and community I receive with God and Jesus’s teachings and help from the Holy Spirit I make it through it all. I encourage you to do the same. God loves you and wants you to be happy. He gives you free will to choose to love him back or not. You can choose to follow his teachings/principle or not. He will love you all the same. Just as my children frustrate me (because I love them) and disobey my rules and walk away from me I stand there waiting with open arms to welcome them back and hug them when they decide to come home. 

I have faith that anytime I need help I can call on God. He may not give me what I want, like my 5yr old get mad when I won’t let him eat a plate full of cookies for dinner. God though does help me with what I need. You should never feel alone though. Have faith that he is there beside you. Take time to read a bit of his teachings, and have the faith to try and put them into practice. A world of wonderful is out there waiting to have you. You only need to have the faith to see that God loves you and will take care of you.

Mark 4: 35 - 41
35	On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side."
36	And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him.
37	And a great storm of wind arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.
38	But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care if we perish?"
39	And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
40	He said to them, "Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?"
41	And they were filled with awe, and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?"